• braxy29@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    please stop with the “Just Leave.” we can’t all just leave and i tire of hearing it. what limitations and obligations keep you where you are?

    and if you genuinely can Just Leave wherever you are, reflect for awhile on your privilege, then try to recognize how many people do not have that option for any number of reasons.

    sometimes i think this sentiment is only a little less tone-deaf than “just have a baby.”

    • redfellow@sopuli.xyz
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      11 months ago

      The people who are saying leave, are the ones seeing you as the frog slowly boiling, but not realizing it until it’s too late.

      Of course it sucks. Of course you might have to build life anew, but a real life beats a kettle that’s heating up.

      All I’m saying it’s not black and white, and many probably already left or are in the process.

      • NιƙƙιDιɱҽʂ@lemmy.world
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        11 months ago

        Okay, and? That doesn’t change a thing braxy said. What if you’ve been aware for years of the pot getting hotter and hotter and have had every desire to leave but don’t have the ability to? Those that have left were in a position in which they had the means to do so. Those that want to but can’t for any number of reasons (finances, family, health, etc. etc.) don’t have much choice.

        • redfellow@sopuli.xyz
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          11 months ago

          My take is that there’s nothing wrong in saying leave, or people leaving. But I also agreed that it’s not possible for everyone, or not all want to - until perhaps something is too late.

          I don’t understand why the people who can’t/won’t/don’t want to take offense from it, when it’s a viable option for many.

          • treefrog@lemm.ee
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            11 months ago

            And your take is at best tone deaf and at worst disingenuous.

            People take offense because no one says, well, if you have the opportunity, and you don’t like it, leave.

            People just say, if you don’t like it, leave. While ignoring that leaving is a privilege for most (how many is many anyway when most are living paycheck to paycheck).

            So, I find your comment offensive. This one in particular. I don’t need to read the rest of the comment thread because this one hot take was plenty enough.

    • 2fat4that@kbin.social
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      11 months ago

      If the reason you’re staying is family, then maybe you need to rethink your priorities. Never let blood keep you from doing what you want to do or being who you want to be. You can serve your family better when you succeed at reaching your goals.

      • TheGalacticVoid@lemm.ee
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        11 months ago

        This is akin to saying that you should abandon a dog or child when they’re bleeding immensely. If I can take care of myself, I can take care of people who need me, family or not.

    • Chickenstalker@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      Leave, though. If enough people leave, only then will they realize how stupid they are. Your ancestors left the old countries on ships to the New World with only the clothes on their backs. Time for you Americans to emigrate elsewhere.

      • Cagi@lemmy.ca
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        11 months ago

        “It is impossible for me to leave”

        “ThEn YoU ShOuLd LeAvE!”

        Are you illiterate?

        • CaptainEffort@sh.itjust.works
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          11 months ago

          It’s never impossible, you could literally sell everything you own and go anywhere.

          But most people won’t because that’s terrifying.

      • finestnothing@lemmy.world
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        11 months ago

        If it was easy enough for a significant amount of people to leave, the Republicans would love it because they could force out almost everyone that wouldn’t vote for them

      • funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works
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        11 months ago

        we’re fairly well off but my wifes job is at a university, how do I move several campuses, the student body and the rest of the staff with us?

      • skuzz@discuss.tchncs.de
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        11 months ago

        No, the Puritans were well-funded twats. Also, Texas isn’t America, I suppose everyone refers to France as Europe?

        What will happen is the few that can’t afford to leave Texas will remain in an oppressive state run by psychopaths with no chance to free themselves. Those that can stay and fight, probably should, but it’s also a huge ask to have people just trying to survive day-to-day also have to fight their shitty government back into the hell-hole from whence it came. They also have to deal with their own Texas neighbors who are too dumb to understand how repressed they are and actually like the direction that state is heading, as their own rights and freedoms are stripped away from underneath them.

        It turns out that moving costs money, the cost of living varies greatly in surrounding states, Texas is huge, and with more than 60% of Americans living paycheck-to-paycheck, the incidental expenses that pop up from a move would be too great for more than 60% of Americans. That’s even if they could find a job on the receiving end.

    • Sagifurius@lemm.ee
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      11 months ago

      Bus ticket is so fucking cheap, if you can’t leave, it’s not time to whine about others’ privilege, its time to look in the mirror. Or some water in a puddle, whatever.

      • Serisar@feddit.de
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        11 months ago

        Come on, don’t be disingenuous, you need more than a bus ticket if you don’t live close to the border of a state that allows abortions.

        Your whole trip will most likely take three days or more (getting there, getting the procedure, coming back), so you need at least two days in a hotel/Airbnb. You will have to get off work for those days as well, that is cost as well.

        That could be around 300$ together if you don’t have any vacation/sick days, on top of the cost of the procedure itself. And it’s not like you can save up that money over several weeks/months either, when you need an abortion every day counts. Contrary to some media, those affected don’t want to wait until the last possible day.

        Some people really only have money for the bare necessities. And they are the ones who really should have access to an abortion because a baby wouldn’t improve their situation in the slightest.

        Being poor isn’t a choice in most cases. Learned helplessness might play a role, but telling them “just get a bus ticket, lul” won’t change that.

        • Sagifurius@lemm.ee
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          11 months ago

          Ain’t a “might” about learned helplessness. The amount of rationalization in this day and age about people failing so hard of their own accord that they don’t have 300 bucks is fucking pathetic. Like just fucking do something, anything, except continue doing the same thing. Sell some fucking drugs, why not, quick financial.boost and go.

          • Crikeste@lemm.ee
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            11 months ago

            I hope you’re being sarcastic.

            If not, you should seriously reconsider yourself.

            • Sagifurius@lemm.ee
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              11 months ago

              I’ve never defined my morality by what the government says, is why I suggested to something, that something not being theft though.

              • bane_killgrind@lemmy.ml
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                11 months ago

                It doesn’t matter if it’s moral, it’s dangerous. Cash business in a significant volume, that you can’t insure or make meaningful contracts for.

                Your suggestion of doing high risk things to make money is the same as a suggestion to gamble to get money.

                • Sagifurius@lemm.ee
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                  11 months ago

                  You fucking people are so risk adverse, it’s no wonder you’d rather be slaves to the state rather than try

          • CaptainEffort@sh.itjust.works
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            11 months ago

            Actually I agree, it’s far easier to simply let things continue the way they are than to take a leap of faith.

            My dad had been talking about leaving the country since we were kids, he just said he wanted to wait for us to go off to college first. But nobody really believed him - he was an underpaid college professor with little to no life savings.

            But when Covid hit he sold his house, sold his car, and grabbed a one way ticket to Ecuador. He went down without ever having been, not knowing where he’d end up living, and is now 2 years later living his best life. I visited him and it’s heaven, I’m honestly jealous.

            • Nalivai@discuss.tchncs.de
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              11 months ago

              Hey, if you’re poor, just sell your house and your car, that you have when you poor. Everyone has at least couple of houses to sell, right?

              • theangryseal@lemmy.world
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                11 months ago

                I think my landlord would be pissed if I sold my apartment. But hey, since I’m going to Ecuador maybe I can find a sucker and be gone before he notices haha.

              • weker01@feddit.de
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                11 months ago

                OK maybe not everybody but you can always wait for your inheritance, right?

                Edit: do I really need to add /s? Or why the downvotes?

                • Chocrates@lemmy.world
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                  11 months ago

                  My dad is more poor than I am, he just signed a 20 year mortgage at 70 and he is much closer to his 5 step kids. I am getting nothing. What next?

                  Edit: He at least was able to get a mortgage so maybe “more poor than I am” isn’t true.

            • weker01@feddit.de
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              11 months ago

              A fucking house is “little to no life savings”? Can you hear yourself?!

      • queermunist she/her@lemmy.ml
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        11 months ago

        So, like, surely you realize people need homes and jobs and stuff right? You can’t just hop on the next bus to freedom town and hope for the best, that’s a child’s view of emigration.

        • Sagifurius@lemm.ee
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          11 months ago

          I’ve literally done that in the past, when things weren’t so good. I guess I hadn’t been told adults just stay, whine and rot.

          • queermunist she/her@lemmy.ml
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            11 months ago

            adults just stay, whine and rot.

            Actually, we usually kill ourselves. Why do you think America has skyrocketing suicide and overdose rates?

            If you literally bought a bus ticket with nothing else to your name and somehow survived, you’re basically just a lottery winner. That’s not a sound financial strategy!

            • CaptainEffort@sh.itjust.works
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              11 months ago

              If you literally bought a bus ticket with nothing else to your name and somehow survived, you’re basically just a lottery winner.

              Lots of people do this, what’re you talking about? You should honestly try it, it’s freeing.

              • queermunist she/her@lemmy.ml
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                11 months ago

                Lots of people end up homeless or in prison or or shacking up with whoever will take them in or doing the kind of work they never wanted in their life or dead. This is a shithole country, throwing away your life to go to Dreamsville is stupid af and, honestly, I don’t even believe you.

                If I wanted that kind of freedom I’d just take out my 9mm retirement plan early, rather than my current plan of waiting until I’m too old to work.

                • Sagifurius@lemm.ee
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                  11 months ago

                  See, this is exactly the mindset leaves people trapped. I love how you throw “doing work” in with prison, dead, etc.

                  • queermunist she/her@lemmy.ml
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                    11 months ago

                    I was more thinking of being forced to do degrading, humiliating, disgusting, or unsafe work. Or, y’know, illegal under-the-table shit. Whatever it takes to get by, no matter how hard it is or how unpredictable the hours are or how much the employerr screws you over.

                    At that point, what was the fuckin point of moving anyway? Out of the frying pan and into the fire 🙄

        • IHadTwoCows@lemm.ee
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          11 months ago

          I did. I even moved 6000 miles away overnight. I shoulda done it twenty years sooner.

          There is nothing keeping anyone anywhere. You arent as important to others as you think you are, and if you are they’ll be glad you did something positive for once.

          And no, I am not wealthy. I didnt have shit either. I just know not to stay and die a miserable death in a fascist shithole.

            • IHadTwoCows@lemm.ee
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              11 months ago

              Seems like debt would be the reason to leave. Start over somewhere else and that debt disappears after 7 years

              • queermunist she/her@lemmy.ml
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                11 months ago

                What do you do in the meantime? Have your wages garnished? Get denied housing because your credit score is too low?

                • IHadTwoCows@lemm.ee
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                  11 months ago

                  Work for cash, try to be self-employed, find local support groups and make as many friends as you can. If you’re good and honest (and not naive) you’ll do fine…word of mouth and personal referrals beat credit scores.

                  I never said it was easy; neither is staying where you are and dying. It was fucking terrifying when I made that jump, and for three years minimum it was a steuggle; but I made friends quickly and was straight up with them about what my situation was and why I was here. I asked for housing referrals and cheaper rent. I made damn sure that I kept the place nice and fixed anything that needed fixing myself. Landlords want a trouble-free tenant with good vibes; if they don’t then they’re a bad landlord.

                  Now, I am not a woman so I am not qualified to advise their experience; however, there are two pieces of advice I adamantly insist on: 1- DO NOT GIVE ANY BOYFRIEND A KEY until you have been together long enough to know that he isnt some fucking asshole who punches holes in walls and dashborads and fucks things up for you. If he asks for money the answer is ALWAYS no. Dump him immediately; no dick is worth it.

                  2- NEVER EVER EVER trade work for rent. Ever. You work, you bill for it. The landlord gives you a check; when rent is due you give him a check. There is no situation in which a work trade does not result in devaluing the work or overvaluing the rent. WORK and RENT are always TWO UNRELATED TRANSACTIONS.

                  I hope your situation improves and you can get away from your problems.

      • Chocrates@lemmy.world
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        11 months ago

        Bus ticket, abortion cost, food and lodging for the duration, lost wages for the time it has taken. Also what if this is a mother already? Childcare costs while you are gone.

        I am sure I have missed a lot as well.

        You need to drastically work on your empathy my friend.