So I’ve been thinking for a while about this subject, and I finally decided to make a post about this some time after I saw a YouTuber say what I put on the title of this post.
Thing is, I’ve noticed that very often young people and especially kids are treated as lesser beings, like if they were not humans beings with problems and lives of their own but just an annoyance that people have to keep up with.
I remember when I was a kid and I wanted to cross a zebra crossing cars would just pass by without stopping more often than not. Now that I’m an adult they stop pretty much every time. I suspect it was because they didn’t want to stop for someone they consider to be lesser than them.
Also, a lot of people seem to think that being a kid means that you just play videogames or whatever all day, but don’t these people remember when they were kids? I sure do. Going to school has been the worst thing I’ve ever had to endure. The only difference with having a job is that you don’t get paid.
Children are tripping hazards due to their small size and erratic movements.
Solution: Give every child an air horn so they can announce their presence at all times.
Most children do well enough with that one their own I would say.
Being a teenager was definitely a surreal experience. At school I was expected to write pages-long essays about history and politics without warning. I had to have a litany of formulas memorized and also remember when and how to use them. I needed to know how to analyze dense texts, including ones in middle English.
But outside of school I was treated as an idiot kid who’s 5 seconds away from stealing or breaking something at any given moment. The contrast between how I was treated in high school and college is like night and day even though I was doing much, much less schoolwork that was easier in college.
I’m late to this, but no, they are denied to even admit their own sexual orientation while at the same time asked about fucking marriage since 9. Not to mention other opinions which are dissmised as irrelevant because they are ‘‘just little kids and can’t have opinion or say anything to be taken seriously’’. Considering how they treat especially younger kids, feels really nice having caring siblings.
I never knew how to engage with kids once I no longer considered myself one, but now that I have kids, it’s like they have wiped that from my brain and I can’t imagine what it’s like to not want to engage with kids. I think that it’s a mixed bag in terms of “Are kids treated like humans”. There are a lot of people who are still holding onto the notions they were subjected to growing up:
- Kids should be seen and not heard.
- Kids should have respect for adults. (which is almost always code for obedience, not respect)
- “My house, My Rules” aka Authoritarian Centered Parenting.
- Illogical or disproportionate punishment for breach of “the rules”.
It seems to me that these “traditional” values in regard to parenting lead to a deficit in trust between parent and child, the child becomes more adept at subterfuge as they attempt to skirt the more illogical rules, and instills a kind of adversarial relationship between the parent and child. Rules like “Don’t wear your hat at a restaurant” followed up with “Because I said so” or “Because I’m your Parent and what I say goes” are just the codification of preferences both personal and learned into arbitrary rules. Naturally, when you point out how nonsensical it is, you’re met with “That’s how my parents were and I turned out fine!”.
Are_You_Sure_About_That.mp4Kids are wiser than you think, and if you explain to them why you’re asking them to do something, they’ll usually get it. Obviously, that depends on their age. One thing I’ve learned from experience with my toddler is that, if you talk too fast or repeat yourself too quickly or expect them to respond instantly to a question or demand, you’re going to have a bad time. They need time to process what you’re saying because they’re still learning how to process language. Usually, if something is pressing or they’re just not listening, you can just redirect them. I’ve never had this become a huge fight so far. Usually I ask twice, and if that doesn’t work, I guide them to the thing we’re doing now, and that kind of direction they seem to just get. Do I get the odd tantrum, sure, but that’s to be expected. I tend to make sure to loop back after the tantrum and try to empathize and explain what the request was and why. Sometimes, the tantrum is just illogical and you have to just accept that.
To be clear. I’m only synthesizing my own experiences along with the experiences of other parents either personally or online. Some people take their childhood as a blueprint for their parenthood, and others have reflected on their childhood and make attempts to have it not be the blueprint for their parenthood. I want to be as communicative and empathetic with my kids as I can, and to actually hear them when they express how they feel. I know that was something I needed growing up, and I know they’ll need it too.
In terms of our social systems and structures surrounding kids, definitely not Humans by any stretch. America is the only nation in the UN that has signed but not ratified the Convention on the Rights of the Child. While the US played an active role in drafting this bill of child rights, they still have not ratified it. Doing so would require them to completely unearth and rebuild child welfare within their legal system. The primary opponents of these rights are, unsurprisingly, political and religious conservatives such as The Heritage Foundation and the Home School Legal Defense Association (HSLDA). The Heritage Foundation believes that “a civil society in which moral authority is exercised by religious congregations, family, and other private associations is fundamental to the American order” while the HSLDA argues that ratifying these rights would threaten homeschooling in America.
In the majority of US States Corporal Punishment is legal under statues making exceptions to the states law regarding crimes of assault, criminal battery, domestic violence, sexual assault, sexual abuse or child abuse. Exceptions to these laws make it nearly impossible to charge a legal guardian of a child with a crime when certain actions are applied to that child. This extends into the public school system, where 17 states still allow for Corporal Punishment as a form of discipline within their public school systems. The practice was deemed “constitutional” by the Supreme Court in 1977. The Court held that the “cruel and unusual punishments” clause of the Eighth Amendment only applied to the treatment of prisoners convicted of a crime. Which, naturally we understand to be pure hypocrisy when you consider how often solitary confinement is used in the American prison system, and how universally accepted it is that solitary confinement is a horrific, life altering, inhumane experience.
You can read all the articles of the Convention on the Rights of the Child here: https://www.ohchr.org/en/instruments-mechanisms/instruments/convention-rights-child
There are countless examples of children being objected to utterly horrific state violence, from the cartoonishly evil such as being arrested for not using the potty, to the systematically evil conditions within the foster care system: “According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, in 2018, 62% of children placed in foster care were removed from their homes due to abusive neglect, totaling over 160,000 children.”. Then consider that states are actively fighting against universal free lunch programs in schools, and that the federal government failed to make permanent the temporary expansion of the child tax credit during covid which brought food insecurity in households with children to a two decade low.
For as much as the reactionaries talk about family values in America, it’s clear through their policies and actions that they have no intention of treating kids as anything other than property.
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♥ Thanks for the kind words comrade! Honestly, a lot of this information lives in my head rent-free. As a family with a comfortable dual income, we’re still treading water because of childcare costs. Where we live the age to enter kindergarten has been pushed up (for sound academic and social-emotional reasons) without any measures to ease the burden on working families who understand the objective reality that public education is also a form of free child care and had been budgeting against that reality.
Being a parent is hard work, and the systems we live under only make it more challenging. This is a perspective I didn’t have until I had kids of my own. If anything, having kids has been the strongest radicalizing force in my life, and is the reason I consider myself a Marxist.
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Our state was allowing students to enter into kindergarten at age 4 in January as long as they were age 5 by September but that’s now a hard requirement of 5 years old in January. I think every other state does 5 as the minimum. It’s impacting something like 11,000 kids going into the 24 school year, and impacting every daycare center in the state since they only have training and curriculum for students up to age 4.
As for having kids and Marxism, I will say this: You, as a parent, want to leave your kids in a world better than the one you grew up in. You hope that the struggles you endured are ones they never have to. For a long time, I didn’t know how to build a better future, but through reading Marx and listening to other Marxist thinkers, and understanding that all of the things I enjoy today were built on the backs of the struggles of the past, struggles endured by working-class families who ALSO were looking to leave their children in a better world than they had, the HOW became more clear. Marxism is like a north star, pointing me toward safe harbors, toward a better world not just for me and my kids, but for all of us, and all of our kids. It’s a whole other thing to plan for the future of your kids, you start to look at the world over a longer timeline, and you have to anticipate where things might be and hope that what you’re doing now will offer your kids a springboard into a fulfilling and successful life. Reading Marx and planning for the future came up in parallel to each other, but without Marx, I think that planning would have led to fear and pessimism. Marxism provided me with a framework for which to make those plans, or at least, provide my kids the tools they need to critically navigate the world so that they can be better about planning their own pathways.
I don’t know that I would have gotten to this place in my world view with out my kids, because they force me to look beyond the horizon I can see and off to the horizon they can see.
Your post is so inspiring that it has a negative downvote.
Can’t be everything to everyone I guess!
No, it means that less than no one disagrees with you haha. I have the glitch too, if I downvote the comment it brings it up to 0 dislikes. So weird
That means the number of people who downvoted you is less than 0. I have no idea how that works, but I think that’s supposed to be a good thing.
Also, a lot of people seem to think that being a kid means that you just play videogames or whatever all day
Other people have commented on the more important points, so I’m gonna add to this one
The biggest reason a lot of kids do nothing but “stay home and play video games all day” is because they literally have nothing better to do, the car-dependent suburbs that are very common in North America (which are often considered “great places to raise children”) leave kids with an inability to do anything (such as hang out with friends or go to public places) without their parents driving them around, so if their parents won’t/can’t do that then there’s nothing really else to do than just stay home, so the kids can’t have any real “freedom” until they become old enough to drive
As well, kids often aren’t even allowed to be given any level of independence these days, with things as simple as “a kid being outside on their own” (even just within their family’s property, if the neighbors are being narcs) being something that can be reported to the police and the parents potentially losing custody over
It’s okay though, we’re totally not a dystopian police state, right? /s
For real. Growing up in a suburb, the only things that were in walking distance were houses, a park, houses, a convenience store, houses, houses, and warehouses. And our town had that neighborhood watch thing where cops would basically arrest you for being young and outside past curfew.
I dunno what people expect kids to do besides play video games and watch YouTube/twitch/whatever. There’s really not much else to spend time on.
I have maybe a very different perspective from a lot of folks here on this one, as I am childfree (borderline antinatalist) and really don’t like being around kids, at all.
Given the above, I am quite biased but I find the attitudes listed in the OP to not necessarily be true, if anything I find it increasingly the opposite. Fewer places are actually childfree these days. I totally understand that if I go to a public park there will be children, I have no qualms with that, but maybe the whole family doesn’t need to head out to the local brewery.
Going to school has been the worst thing I’ve ever had to endure.
This one I am mixed on. Middle school and high school were awful, at least socially, but I also had magnitudes more free time back then than now. Getting home by 3 or 4 PM as opposed to 9 or 10. I could, and frequently did, spend all day reading. University, on the other hand, while stressful was probably one of the best periods of my life.
I also am childfree, am getting a vasectomy in the next few months, and am also a borderline anti-natalist. I still think that bringing a person into the world is an inherently selfish act.
But after deep thought and growing over the past several years, I’ve come to realize some things and re-orient some of my beliefs and attitudes.
For one, I don’t think that selfishness is inherently a bad thing. Selfishness is alot like sugar and potassium. You need a certain amount of it to function and fulfill your needs, but when it becomes too much and starts hurting you, others and the ecological and social environment is when it becomes a problem. Though other people constantly describe me as not being selfish at all and being almost saint-like, so take that for what you will.
I’m also developing a belief that is influenced by Taoism/Daoism, and also inspired by the video game series Destiny.
Almost everything in reality has Light and Darkness in it. But Light isn’t inherently good, and Dark isn’t inherently evil. This isn’t to say that a perfect middle-ground exists or that the right answer is always perfectly in the middle, that is neoliberal centrist horseshit.
Most people would agree that murder is wrong. But killing someone in self-defense, protecting yourself or someone else, or preventing tragedy and suffering to save or improve the lives of thousands of people by killing an individual is perfectly reasonable and results in a “net good” in society.
Likewise, while many religions think of themselves as “purifying” humanity, they are merely committing unspeakable atrocities and enforcing oppression in the name of “goodness”, such as Christian colonial missionaries or Buddhist soldiers that fought alongside the pedophile monks that China liberated Tibet from.
As back to my original point, having children is inherently selfish, since it places multiple sociological and psychological burdens on someone and robs them of their “peace of nonexistence” and forces almost guaranteed mortality on someone at some point in the future, you grant a sperm cell decades, (hopefully in the future, centuries) of life that they wouldn’t experience otherwise out of the billions of other sperm cells.
Life is shitty, but after capitalism is overthrown, life will become much less shittier. Sometimes I wish my mother aborted me like she almost did, and other times I’m truly thankful to be alive, despite having BPD, autistic spectrum disorder and OCD.
If I was never born, of course I wouldn’t consciously “know” it or have a frame of reference, but there would be so many beautiful colors and shades and hues I’d never see, wonderful smells, tasty food, orgasms, comfort, security, or entertainment I’ve ever feel, or knowledge I’d never know. Life can be what you make of it.
Even though I say that I “hate” kids sometimes, I don’t truly hate them or wish ill on them. Kids can be spoiled brats, but they are still just little humans who are thrust into a shitty world against their consent without the proper know-how of basically anything, so of course they are annoying and gross and act-out, but its rarely anything that you can or should blame on them.
My heart also tears and becomes enraged at stories of child abuse and exploitation and suffering and murder. Nobody deserves any of that, especially children. They have decades they deserve to live out, not suffer for. Life is a beautiful thing, especially when we share it with other people stuck in our same mortal situation.
I hope I’ve given you food for thought at least.
Even though I say that I “hate” kids sometimes, I don’t truly hate them or wish ill on them. Kids can be spoiled brats, but they are still just little humans who are thrust into a shitty world against their consent without the proper know-how of basically anything, so of course they are annoying and gross and act-out, but its rarely anything that you can or should blame on them.
My heart also tears and becomes enraged at stories of child abuse and exploitation and suffering and murder. Nobody deserves any of that, especially children. They have decades they deserve to live out, not suffer for. Life is a beautiful thing, especially when we share it with other people stuck in our same mortal situation.
Speaking on these two points specifically, I agree entirely. I don’t ever like being around kids at all, but I also don’t wish any harm to happen to them. If anything, I am more inclined to express my distaste to the parents who insisted on bringing kids somewhere they honestly shouldn’t be, it isn’t fair to the kids anymore than the people around them. It’s not like the kid bought a ticket on that plane just to annoy me. I know as a child I was bored out of my mind when I had to go to weddings, as an example.
I hope it goes without saying that I also would never support any kind of child abuse or exploitation. Someone who opts in to having a child owes it to them to do everything in their power to raise the child well; I just personally have no desire to ever have to be in that situation.
PS. Grats on the vasectomy, welcome to the club!
Adult supremacy is a real thing. While it is very prominent among American Baby Boomers, it can afflict people of any generation. I believe we as adults have a responsibility to guide and protect youth, not forcefully shape them into some predetermined mold.
Frankly it infuriates me when I see somebody of my age (early 30s) acting just like a damned Boomer and complaining about “kids these days”, when those kids are just responding to pressures of a world that adults have forced upon them. The only kind of youth I truly dislike are the alt-right kind.
I cannot speak for any other country, but the US public school experience is designed to beat the kids down until they accept their place within the capitalist system by the time they’re 18 years old. Any education that happens in those places is incidental. They’re primarily meant for schooling, not education.
Kids 10+ are somewhat worse at controlling their impulses, usually, but other than that they’re already just as smart as most adults, especially taking into account they’re more up to date on modern tech/developments. I never understood why we as adults collectively decided to act like we’re so much superior when we’re really not
I think you are giving kids too much credit. Even the most intelligent and emotionally mature children at 10-18 years of a age have a lot of growing up to do.
Technology is a moot point because most gadgets are anti-consumer walled ecosystems and information is highly regulated by big tech companies. Therefore it doesn’t necessarily make them smarter.
