Hi Lemmy,
Apologies if this is a dumb question.
I have a trans person that I supervise and I know he is having a hard time after Trump’s only two genders executive order.
Is there anything I can do to make sure that he feels supported at work?
I have regular check-in meetings with my staff so I was hoping to see how he was doing, but don’t want to force him into an uncomfortable discussion.
Note: His performance is still excellent at his job so this isn’t a “coaching conversation” or anything like that
I cannot imagine they want to discuss this with someone from work of all places… be open and kind is already good
I’m not trans, but having support from managers while going through hard things has absolutely been helpful for me in the past. I’d guess it likely varies from person to person… but overall I don’t think knowing your manager has your back is a bad thing.
You’re right. That isn’t bad.
Thank you!
That’s a thin ice you’re walking here… Some people appreciate the support, some people don’t like when work contacts get into their personal feelings territory.
It’s highly dependent on how close your interpersonal relationship is with co-worker, what I’d avoid for sure is suddenly closing the distance just because you know he is trans and you can tell recent events are affecting him.
I appreciate that, thank you
I tackle this two ways.
I ensure that I have a progress pride bracelet, pin, or other clearly visible symbol of allieship on me at all times. I also have prominently displayed safe space signage around my office. There should be zero ambiguity of my support - my hope is that this both makes 2SLGBTQIA+ and any other marginalized individuals feel welcome around me, and I also find it reduces inappropriate jokes or comments from the broader organization. People KNOW that I will make a stink if they are assholes. I try to ensure a safe bubble around me.
The other thing I do is try to make it clear to my team that I care about them as people - they aren’t cogs in a machine.
Ultimately, it’s up to my team members to decide if talking with me will help or hurt. I just try to make sure that my door is wide open.
I’d probably just say something non-pressuring but supportive like “I know with everything that is going on recently that things may be challenging for you right now. If you need anything please don’t hesitate to reach out to me and I’ll support you in any way I can.”
Or, if you’re a little more friendly: “Fuck trump, eh? What a piece of shit. Let me know if I can help at all, so sorry about all this”
I absolutely wish I could. That could get us in trouble with hr and administration, even though that’s the overwhelming sentiment in my workplace.
I’ve had trans reports in the past when I was a supervisor (TBF, the world was a lot different). Two things that I’d recommend:
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Continue being a good lead and treating them with respect, using their preferred pronouns, etc. Intervene gently but firmly if there is inappropriate derogatory stuff going on in the workplace.
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If possible, I’d get a 1:1 meeting with them and outright ask “Do you want to talk with me about how current events are impacting you and anything that I can do to ensure that you feel supported?”. If they say “no” or aren’t comfortable, ensure that they know that that’s ok and that the offer is there.
As a disclaimer, I am neurospicy so, there may be gentler ways to approach but I have found that clearly and directly communicating that genuine support is there, if they need it want it and giving them a way to ask is generally well-received.
I’d say instead of setting up a meeting, just take a second on a quiet day and ask how they’re going, if they want any support or to talk. It still has the same positive effect, but an outright scheduled meeting feels a bit weird, my first assumption for one is negative (though again, it could just be me).
Some great points though, I’m sure they’d recognise the intent to be good.
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Simply treating that person like a human being would be a good start.
Also, maybe treat him like everyone else, as giving him special treatment would beat the point of equality.
No need for all that fancy stickers.
If you’re not sure, just ask. I’m sure he’d appreciate it more if you ask him directly instead of asking a bunch of internet strangers. Let it be an awkward talk if needs be.
I appreciate that, and I do try my best to treat everyone fairly. As for asking random people on the internet, I just wanted more outside perspectives than just the people around me.
Fair enough
Maybe best is to just continue using their preferred pronouns as if nothing happened, and be kind to everyone. That will already show your support and he might come to you if there is anything to talk about.
I hope all the other colleagues are supportive as well, I would have a close eye on everyone now.
Continue treating him with respect. I’m kinda assuming you’re in government, but I guess that’s not clear from the post. If you are, maybe let him know that the executive order will not impact how you treat him, and offer him space to ask questions or raise concerns.
l’m a librarian so yes the government, but nlt the federal government.
Be kind and approachable. If they want to bring it up to you, they will. Pushing on it from your end might end badly and be very uncomfortable.
One of my coworkers brought it up unprompted with me like this. I heard them out, showed some empathy, and talked about coping strategies. I tried to keep it focused on what they wanted/needed.
Also, resist any government mandates that want to know where/ how many
jewstrans people are in your department. It’s not your job to help anyone make other people’s lives miserable.I didn’t hear about any mandates yet but if it does I’ll make sure all management is on the same page.
What we do in our office, to make sure everybody feels supported, is to have rainbow decorations, and badges and stuff for people to wear.
You could wear a rainbow badge, to show that you support, and so he knows to feel safe. You can also encourage others to wear a rainbow badge, or lanyard or something else, to show that he can feel safe.it’s best to ask trans people: hexbear has the largest trans communities and i would ask there.
