I’ve spoken with plenty of feminists, vegans, some trans people, and several right wing constitutionalists or other right wing identity. Almost every vegan I’ve talked to in RL was very pleasant and I had to know them a while or go to lunch with them to even find out they’re vegan. Trans I’ve never had a problem with, and occasionally reminded me their preferred pronouns in a very polite way (actually our mutual friends usually did instead). Feminists I’ve only found TERFs annoying.

However the constitutionalist? I got in arguments with him about stuff like whether people should be liable for animal abuse (he claimed animals don’t have a soul so no punishment should come from harming them). He also acted like women were too emotional, but every time we got into a discussion with something he didn’t like he would be nearly yelling. If asked to be calm he’d angry claim not to be logical, not angry/emotional. He was the one we had to walk on eggshells around, while also being the main person doing “wife bad” or other misogynistic jokes.

While that’s one example, I’ve met many others who like to be mean then retreat to “just joking” or “That’s how I grew up”, while the people you claim are more annoying are more likely to adjust to the feelings or likes or dislikes of the person they’re talking with.