• linearchaos@lemmy.world
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    5 months ago

    OMG, Had just moved into a new house. BEAUTIFUL white kitchen, marble counter tops, light grey floor, whole 9 yards.

    Kid 1: I want home made pizzas for my birthday party

    Me: FUUUUUUU…OK

    Day of:

    Split up the 17 batches of fermented dough I had made into pie rounds

    Broke out the cast iron skillet.

    Started working out dough rounds.

    Round -> corn starch-> skillet on the range on high -> sauce -> cheese -> meat -> broil -> cut -> deliver -> next

    Round -> corn starch-> skillet on the range on high -> sauce -> cheese -> meat -> broil -> cut -> deliver -> next

    Round -> corn starch-> skillet -> on the range on high sauce -> cheese -> meat -> broil -> cut -> deliver -> next

    CRANKIN’ IT OUT BOSS!

    Oh shit I’m out of red sauce, grab another giant glass jar from the pantry

    Go to grab something with my off hand, swing the sauce too close, comes down on the edge of the counter, 99.9% over the floor. CRACK!

    Bottom of the glass jar just falls off. I’m wearing cargo shorts, it fills my pocket, and my shoe, and slops into the open drawer and down the counter face and as the glass hits the floor, the sprays up all over the rest of the counters and my shirt and the ceiling and the lip of the counter.