Ngl Athena is based.
Poseidon. First off, he fucked dudes so I’ve got a chance. Second, I’m from an island and heavily respect the ocean already. Third is I wanna get railed floating in the middle of the ocean.
Least horny Lemmy user.
It’s the chastity
Dionysus all the way, baby! There’s no problem I can’t fuck or eat my way out of!
I love that Dionysus in the new Percy Jackson is played by Jason Mantzoukas. Dude screams Dionysus energy.
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Hephaestus seems the most likely to leave me alone. The gods are so capricious that I’d prefer to not have their attention.
Hekate for sure. Goddess of magic, necromancy, the crossroads. Plus you get doggies to hang out with you all the time!
This is me, too.
As a bonus, probably super easy to recruit for her. “Witchcraft and puppies” would get lots of people’s attention.
Hades. Hardly ever leaves the Underworld, thus cutting down on the risk of me having to be his champion.
Until someone comes looking for the soul of their lost love.
Sure, but that’d be in the Underworld and therefore Hades’ own problem.
What if he is getting challenged in the underworld like bi weekly and he keeps sending your post cards with dates you need to come down and fight for him?
Dear Hades, I resign. I’m going to live with Circe on her island.
Caconically the wealthiest God, so you know the Saturnalia hamper will have an entire ham in there.
Hermes married Aphrodite after stealing cattle the day he was born. God of thieves and general mischief maker. A lot like Loki, but without all the Daddy issues.
Considering Zeus’s children are destined to overthrow him, I think daddy issues are baked in.
Dionysus, God of sex and alcohol!
Prometheus for sure. The Titian that humble his kind, the Titan that modeled man from clay, that stole fire from the Olympians when he saw man had no other gifts, that freed hope from Pandora’s box.
Athenas and Hephaestus’s gifts are invaluable gods of wisdom, craftsmen, and artificial beings, but without fire from the defiant Titan we had nothing to really build our cities from.
Also, Prometheus paid a horrific price for helping humanity. Generally-speaking, the Greek pantheon is fairly self-interested, and not terribly interested in helping humanity in general.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prometheus
In Greek mythology, Prometheus (/prəˈmiːθiəs/; Ancient Greek: Προμηθεύς, [promɛːtʰéu̯s], possibly meaning “forethought”)[1] is sometimes referred to as the God of Fire.[2] Prometheus is best known for defying the Olympian gods by stealing fire from them and giving it to humanity in the form of technology, knowledge, and more generally, civilization.
In some versions of the myth, he is also credited with the creation of humanity from clay.[3] Prometheus is known for his intelligence and for being a champion of mankind,[4] and is also generally seen as the author of the human arts and sciences.[5] He is sometimes presented as the father of Deucalion, the hero of the flood story.[6][7][8]
The punishment of Prometheus for stealing fire from Olympus and giving it to humans is a subject of both ancient and modern culture. Zeus, king of the Olympian gods, condemned Prometheus to eternal torment for his transgression. Prometheus was bound to a rock, and an eagle—the emblem of Zeus—was sent to eat his liver (in ancient Greece, the liver was thought to be the seat of human emotions). His liver would then grow back overnight, only to be eaten again the next day in an ongoing cycle.
I don’t think that any other character in the pantheon could realistically be called as sympathetic. I’m not sure that any other divine Greek figure deserves humanity’s gratitude.
Dionysius.
He’s really fun at parties. Hates oppressive, overreaching powers. Destroys anyone that opposed the freedoms of his followers with a literal plant stem. I don’t see many drawbacks.
prometheus. he would actually care about you.
Hera.
Lacking some of the more intriguing gimmicks, perhaps, but political clout out the wazoo. Get her on your side, ain’t nobody going to risk fucking with you.
Pan, I guess? Weird randy goat man playing pipes in the woods can probably grant me a divine bong or something idk.
I am already an active practicing Discordian. My work is religious. Every day I distribute a substance that uproots the normal workings of the mind. Hail Eris! Hail Yourself!
All hail Discordia!
Fnord
Fuck that’s like the one culture that didn’t just straight up steal my primary deity (Ishtar) upon hearing about her.
So I guess I’d go with Gaia. The great thing about Gaia is i know the earth exists
Hekate is a second though. Midnight rituals are great.
