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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: June 19th, 2023

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  • I doubt anyone you are talking to is opposed to all human rights, that sounds very much like a straw man statement. Reasonable people can disagree about whether any particular right should be protected by law.

    The reason is simple: any legally-protected right you have stands in direct opposition to some other right that I could have:

    • Your right to free speech is necessarily limited by my right to, among other things, freedom from slander/libel, right to a fair trial, right to free and fair elections, right to not be defrauded, etc.
    • Your right to bodily autonomy can conflict with my right to health and safety when there is a global pandemic spreading and you refuse vaccination.
    • Your property rights are curtailed by rules against environmental harm, discrimination, insider trading, etc.

    No right is ever meant to be or can be absolute, and not all good government policy is based on rights. Turning a policy argument into one about human rights is not generally going to win the other person over, it’s akin to calling someone a racist because of their position on affirmative action. There’s no rational discussion that can be had after that point.


  • I don’t know if it helps, but this is not really a lie, and you shouldn’t feel bad about saying it. You have your own reason for not being able to do something you committed to. Someone else might have a different reason that is equally personal that they don’t want to share. “I forgot and I’m sorry” is a socially acceptable way to take responsibility without sharing specifics and potentially making someone else feel confusion or pity.

    You can still work on the “why wasn’t I able to do the thing I felt I needed to do” without worrying about “why wasn’t I honest about my reason”.

    Just my two cents though.




  • I relate to this, though I am not autistic myself. My wife and I certainly worry about whether our own personal challenges are going to impact our children. For example, we are both introverts and having to take a kid to a birthday party, mingle and make small talk with other parents is awful, it ruins the whole weekend. Of course, we still go, but our kids don’t have as many play dates as other kids do. You know what, though? They will be fine. We play board games and video games and read.

    All kids have advantages in some areas and gaps in others that they will have to work on as they grow. You can’t teach them everything, and yet they will become fully functional adults anyway. You’re doing a great job taking your kid to therapy and getting him help he can’t get from you, that ~~shows that you love him and can take care of him. Focus on passing on your strengths and not trying to avoid passing on your failings.


  • I have been around some of the tech elite you’re referring to, and I propose that the disconnect arises because Silicon Valley uniquely revolves around Scale (how many people you can reach) and Impact (how big a dent you can leave in the universe). It’s impossible to overstate how ingrained it is in the culture, and it is very explicit when you talk to folks at Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation for example: the ability to measure and prove the impact of your project is as important as the project itself.

    I admit to being a member of this culture, if not wealthy.

    To me, the types of art you mention - art galleries and live theater being good examples - are extremely limited in serving relatively small populations concentrated in city centers where there already is a lot of culture. The generation that created the Internet is, for better or worse, much more interested in bigger investments that can reach everyone on the planet and hopefully improve lives in some measurable and long lasting way.

    I’m sure the wealthy here in California contribute to the local arts community just like anywhere else. But there is no equivalent in the arts to curing polio worldwide or giving every child access to the Internet, so I don’t personally disagree with prioritizing these agendas in a coordinated way.