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I like calling my trans gf a trap 😌

So that trans youth growing up see trans adults in their community

When i was a teenager back in the early 00s, i went to a trans support group. It largely consisted of older transitioners, age 50+, who were not living good lives, through no fault of their own. But it was a very dark experience for me. I expected that my life would play out like theirs, and i would join the 41% club. I never thought that I’d get to experience just being a regular girl, and that part still seems surreal a decade later.

This is a common experience for young trans people seeking support. This is “trans visibility” and it harmed me profoundly. What would’ve been really nice back then were successful role models who make their trans-ness an incidental detail. We have those now, and they’re not what I’d call “visible” to cis people, although they don’t hide who they are.

so that trans adults see older trans people.

I’m still waiting to find older rolemodels. Most of us are really sad when we get older. I don’t know how similar this is to the general lgbt population, but I’m concerned. My goal is to build a little family, and then just live a quiet life and keep each other close.

“We can disappear into the world and continue to live in the shadows,” he says. “But ultimately, that’s not how it’s supposed to be.”

Ugh. I really wish people would quit saying this. I don’t want “visibility.” “Trans visibility” feels like an insult. I want to be invisible, and anything less is torment. Some people will never pass as the gender they identify with, but for them to prescribe their feelings on all of us is not fair.

Angry hand gestures, obviously taking their time getting out of the way, etc

Positive 😄 i went to marbella for a medical thing and stayed in the old town, and when the hospital sent a car to pick me up, people were very annoyed every time.

I make eye contact and walk at a normal pace. In Spain people get mad when cars drive down city streets. They glare daggers at you while they clear the street begrudgingly. We need that energy in the United States. Cars should know that they are second class citizens.

I haven’t bought a house yet. Been house shopping for about 4 months trying to find something in my budget. I drive a beat up old Honda Civic.

Portland, OR. My budget realistically maxes out around 600k, and so far at that price all i can find are weird houses from 100 years ago with various flaws or in bad neighborhoods. Good houses seem to start around 750k.

I once thought that if i could ever make six figures, I’d be set for life. I could have anything i wanted. Now i make multiple times that number and i can still barely afford a house that’s big enough for my family of 3. I’m house poor and an emergency could bankrupt me in an instant. I’m in the top like 0.1% of income earners. What the fuck?

it wasn’t rape-rape

It almost never is. Reminds me of that one scene in Bottoms. “Gray area stuff counts too.”

I have a schedule that has events going out until 6+ months from now. How do you survive with adult responsibilities without doing that?

This is ultimately a big part of it, and it’s universal, not just in dating. Most friendships are “friendships of convenience” and the other types of relationships typically progress from there. But in western culture, we don’t have any third places, and so we just plain don’t make friendships of convenience anymore.

I’ve found several long term relationships off tinder as a WLW. It seems to work pretty well for me. The system doesn’t seem to be working for guys, and that’s unfortunate. But a lot of the pressure on women to settle for any man has gone away as women have become more self reliant. The whole thing has become far more consensual and less mandatory for survival. That’s going to influence men’s dating success no matter what medium people use to find matches.

I had to do this with my ex too 😅 we’re both women but men listen to me. My ex is a combat veteran with ptsd, and it can make her seem unstable, even though she’s incredibly sharp and there’s no one I’d rather have with me in an emergency.

It’s crazy how much height subconsciously influences our opinions of each other. I’m tall enough that most men don’t look down at me, and I’m widely respected professionally. Men listen when i talk in meetings, and it’s very easy to sell my ideas to people. My shorter coworkers who are more talented than i am struggle to gain respect.

My ex is 5’2" and i have very strong feelings of cute aggression towards her, and have to consciously remind myself to consider her opinions sometimes. It doesn’t help that she acted like a child a lot during our relationship 😒

You’re missing the point. At a right turn, traffic is coming from the left and pedestrians are coming from the right. You focus left to make sure traffic is clear and then go, meanwhile a pedestrian has entered the intersection from the right and you don’t notice them.

I only want gay sex in media. Straight sex makes me uncomfortable.

the dark harbinger of chaos and sexual anarchy

Me when i hit on someone in a stable polycule

Prepagaged food is generally quite bad for you. Rancid oils, high fructose corn syrup in everything, low fiber, mystery preservatives, and so on. When i lived on that kind of food, i rapidly gained weight to 210 lbs. I look at pictures of myself from back then and it’s horrifying. I look like I’m dying. I started cooking my own food from simple ingredients, and within a year i was down to 140. I’ve kept it off ever since.