Or am I just the paragon saint of puppy love?
Seriously though, do y’all have a crush on each of your friends?
One of – if not THE – primary causes for attraction is proximity. If you see someone often, you are much more likely to become attracted to them. Family members and ‘unavailable’ people such as those already married are typically, but not uniformly, excluded.
After that, we tend to be initially attracted to pretty people with symmetrical features, good health, and of a similar social status (we are also attracted to those of higher social rank, but they will tend to self-select themselves to be less frequently proximate as well as rejecting overtures from potential mates of lower status). That still doesn’t matter as much as frequent exposure to someone. Ideally the exposure occurs when you are both in a good mood. Bad moods make for less attraction. We also like people with whom we share common interests, habits, and so on, such that more similar people are more likely to become attracted to one another.
So, yeah, ‘friends’ are generally going to trigger psychological cues of attraction in any group. Most everyone has to deal with such feelings and quash them when appropriate. Some people have a hard time dealing and either pursue when that makes them creepy or they fail to respond when the feeling is mutual.
the primary causes for attraction is proximity
This is what is behind “office hot”. You work with someone 40+ hrs a week who is even average looking and they start to grow on you. You can definitely be attracted to briefly seeing someone too though. I’ve seen woman briefly that have left me flustered for the rest day.
Oh yeah, the above does not negate that spontaneous visual attraction people can experience even on a brief and chance viewing. The link I gave doesn’t talk about that, but if I remember properly, I think statistically if you count everyone you might see in, say, the grocery store, the sort of sighting that leaves you flustered is a very low percentage of everyone seen.
Thought about banging? All of them. Had a crush on? Only the cute ones.
Never in my case. So definitely not true for “everyone”.
Nope. People I enjoy the company of and people I am physically attracted to don’t overlap 100%. Age, marital status, lifestyle, and more all come into play. Additionally, unless they’re single/non monogamous and actively looking for a romantic relationship, the crush just doesn’t develop because I don’t consider them a possibility.
No, I have zero romantic feelings for any of my friends. I didn’t even realize this was something that happens. I’m in my 30s if it matters.
I’m not sure but I’m curious if there is any difference between men and women. For example would women or men befriend more people they are attracted. Or would men or women simply become attracted to those they are close to.
Well I lived 20 years as a woman and nearly as many as a man, so take that for what it’s worth. I don’t find any of my friends sexually attractive and I have never developed romantic feelings for a friend.
Certainly not everyone. I know the few I’ve had I value greatly though, enough that friendship severity is like a colour spectrum in my mind. We pretty much apply all public expressions of love with one another.
I can say for certain, as a straight guy, I have no crushes on my guy friends. Female friends? You have the thought pass through your head at some point but nothing I’d consider a serious thought.
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Crush ≠ affection. But i feel ya
I who never had a crush on a goddamn thing: What.
