Nah, the phalanx is what all the cool kids are doing now.

Why is “the utterly deranged” edited over? It was already the original text

Columns are for millenial hipsters. Make Line Formations Great Again!

The generals are just looking oit for their soldiers! They know that noone likes multi-day marches, and so have generously afforded us the opportunity to die by gas attacks while comfortably (by military standards) seated.