Beyond the polite “Hey, how’s it going”. Close enough to hang out at each other’s apartment, maybe even ask them to water your plants or feed your pet while you’re away.
My last apartment (~2020) was at less than 30% occupancy and I was the only person living on my floor. Yay housing crisis.
My apartment before that was in an older Orthodox Jewish Ukrainian community that was very hostile to outsiders, and particularly my interracial relationship. The head door guard was especially racist. There was one other guy with a dog who was super nice and friendly we’d talk a bunch especially while walking. He was feeling as unwelcome as we were and they drove him out a few months before we got driven out.
Now, as a homeowner I’ve exchanged misdelivered packages with my neighbours and done trick or treating. I don’t really know their names but i recognize their faces. There was one guy that was a creep to the femmes of our building but he’s moved out thankfully, but it kinda spoilt the first impressions a bit.
My wife (then gf) and I moved in to the current apartment when we were ~25 (we are now almost 30). We made little notes introducing ourselves for all the neighbours, and one couple responded by bringing us a bottle of wine as a gift. We ended up friends with them, playing board games, video games, D&D, and the occasional party. We dont hang out consistently, but its nice to have friends in the building.
We used to watch GOT and go to bars with our upstairs neighbors. I don’t remember how the introduction started but once we found out we had common interests we started hanging out.
They moved out a year after that. The next upstairs neighbors let their dogs piss on their balcony (which ran down onto my deck) so they can go fly a kite.
I always try to make friends with my neighbours, with varying results. Most of my neighbours I’ve met have been nice, I think most people are. Some people are just shy though. And some are just miserable assholes.
Eh, kinda. Not really friends though, more like I have a few neighbours who I’m comfortable having as barely acquaintances.
There’s the lady across the hall who occasionally brings my parcels/post up and I do the same for her.
Protein shake bro, who lives next door and has a loud blender. I’ve not actually met him but am deeply comforted by his shake making regularity.
The chubby Brazilians, the couple who sometimes take parcels for me when couriers insist on banging on the wrong door, and I’ve done the same for them too a few times.
The lady with the inverse door number to mine, we swapped numbers at one point but only ever text about recieving each others Amazon parcels. She stole my pasta maker during the pandemic though, so I lost her number. I see her on her balcony sometimes and used to hope she texted me so I could be like “no pasta maker. who dis?” but alas.
Aside from this (and tbh actually, including one or two) there’s a lot of crackheads, mentally disturbed, and domestically violent in my building, so it’s not really somewhere I’m comfortable being known by or inviting neighbours into my flat.
For a moment I thought you meant you swapped the numbers on your doors as some kind of weird prank.
You could write a sitcom about all your neighbours
“she took my pasta maker, Jerry!”
Varies person by person. Some I’m not particularly interested in, some seem satisfied with a head nod. I don’t force it.
I do have neighbors I ask to water plants. Usually, I ask a neighbor if I can pay their 8-12 year old kid to do it. Lots of parents like the opportunity for their preteens to own some responsibility. I’m also among the neighbors that goes out after a snow to clear off walkways and cars for the elderly neighbors; that contact tells me which other neighbors are into the local community.
I’ve been in one super tight knit neighborhood where we did actual community things. Like I setup a little outdoor movie night in the common lawn and hosted a popcorn melodrama. I had the projector, audio, and movie. A couple other parents brought tons of popcorn. Everyone brought chairs and blankets to sit on. The kiddos had a riot eating it and throwing it at the villain on screen. That condo neighborhood is the gold standard I hold in my mind and compare all others I’ve lived in to.
ive tried but they don’t seem particularly interested
Usually just greet or have short smalltalks and be on my way, but it’s nice to have a good relationship with 1-2 neighbors to help each other water plants, receive parcels and so on.
About five years ago a new neighbor moved in downstairs and put a note up with her number saying who she is and that she is happy to get to know her new neighbors. Unusually forward but cool, so I wrote her and we met. We became running buddies, she sometimes took care of my dog, I helped out with handiwork, or we just hung out together and talked. She moved out a year later but we are still very good friends to this day.
In my current apartment I unfortunately don’t know anyone. The only neighbor I had a good relationship with is gone and the others keep to themselves.
A handful, never had bad neighbor experiences before. Many pals and some watch my pets or get packages.
Why bother? I will be moving in a year because the rent will go up.
i didn’t talk much to the people at my last place but i’m going to make an effort now that i’ve moved. seems like a good safety net to have in case something happens.
No, everyone in my building is loud and obnoxious. A lot of vandals here and the kind of people I don’t trust to even leave my laundry in the laundry room.
in my building, owner use informal tu and first name but when talking with renter they use vous and last name.
To be fair owner see each others at owner’s association meeting and have seen each other in the building for years while many renter move within 2-3 years
And for the fun fact, my owner association ordered a security audit, and the consultant recommended organizing a building/neighbour party/barbecue over installing security camera. As people knowing each other care for each other
The little old lady next to me says hello and sometimes let’s me know if there’s a package waiting for me.
The people on the other side I don’t know. They don’t seem especially friendly or unfriendly, but I’m happy to live and let live.
Nope. Neighbors in apartments change far too frequently for various reasons - life changes, rent hikes, property issues, etc. It very rarely seems worth the time to invest in a potential acquaintanceship. The only people that ever seem to be eager to be friends in my experiences end up being the elderly and the younger folks anyway.
It also makes it far more awkward when you have to eventually have a neighborly conversation and ask them to not leave their trash in the hallway or keep their volume down or something else minor.
I’ve noticed it’s mostly the elderly who try to engage in conversations more, I usually chalk it up to them being more lonely and having a less busy schedule
I think that’s a part of it. They’re also usually the ones who are likely to end up being longer-term residents so they’re more invested.
I don’t mind chatting, but usually when a I’m outside my apartment I’m in the process of doing something. Personally I hate getting trapped in small talk when I’m just trying to spend 60 seconds to take my trash out or walk to my car.
