Straightforward: my 29-year-old son is dating a 16-year-old girl he met at a jazz festival this summer. Openly. He had a same age long-term girlfriend until last year, when they broke up amicably. We really loved her, she was basically our daughter-in-law and we’re still in touch. His current girlfriend’s parents know about their relationship & are cool with it. For the record: it’s also legal in our country. We don’t think it’s right though, he’s a grown ass man while she’s a high schooler. He’s also very successful professionally, handsome, takes good care of himself, has a good personality, etc. so it’s not like he’s lacking options. He just says he likes her - that’s his why. He’s not a bad person, I know that, but still this whole situation has changed our perception of him quite a bit. We’re having a rough time to say the least.
Explain to him the social cost he will bear. Friends and support network will drift away.
What? That really shouldn’t be the point for anyone to worry about.
The important thing is to make sure she’s safe. As long as that is guaranteed, everything else is his choice and his responsibility. He is an adult, he is allowed to decide for himself if he cares about what society as a whole and his parents in particular think about him.
Shaming him and pressuring him into leaving her will only make him stick to her even tighter, just to spite everyone else. And that might actually go wrong when the relationship eventually breaks apart and he can’t accept that because he doesn’t have anyone else left.