Straightforward: my 29-year-old son is dating a 16-year-old girl he met at a jazz festival this summer. Openly. He had a same age long-term girlfriend until last year, when they broke up amicably. We really loved her, she was basically our daughter-in-law and we’re still in touch. His current girlfriend’s parents know about their relationship & are cool with it. For the record: it’s also legal in our country. We don’t think it’s right though, he’s a grown ass man while she’s a high schooler. He’s also very successful professionally, handsome, takes good care of himself, has a good personality, etc. so it’s not like he’s lacking options. He just says he likes her - that’s his why. He’s not a bad person, I know that, but still this whole situation has changed our perception of him quite a bit. We’re having a rough time to say the least.

  • Sop@lemmy.blahaj.zone
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    22
    arrow-down
    10
    ·
    16 days ago

    That’s gross and as a parent you have the responsibility to tell him it’s gross. Don’t normalise this relationship.

    • tomi000@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      10
      arrow-down
      19
      ·
      edit-2
      16 days ago

      Why would it be gross? Wtf is wrong with people being so prejudiced here? Also, something being gross is your personal taste, stop forcing it on other people.

      Relationships with this kind of age gap where one of them is young need to be treated with great caution because the risk of manipulation, exploitation or abuse is higher. But there is absolutely no way to judge it based on that single fact. If you know them and make sure he is not taking advantage of her, why would it still be a problem?

      • Sop@lemmy.blahaj.zone
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        5
        arrow-down
        6
        ·
        16 days ago

        It’s gross because the only reason a 29 yr old adult would have a relationship ship with a 16 yr old is because the 16 yr old is easy to manipulate. A 29 yr old and a 16 yr old have no life experiences in common, the whole relationship relies on the inequal power dynamic. The fact that he chose to have a relationship with a 16 yr old is already proof that he’s taking advantage because any sensible adult that cares about the wellbeing of the 16 yr old would never do that.

        • tomi000@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          5
          arrow-down
          5
          ·
          edit-2
          16 days ago

          What the actual fuck. Do you actually believe you can speak for 8 billion people? How entitled can one be…

          No 2 people have the same experience in life. Simply having lived for the same amount of time has no impact whatsoever on your personality and behaviour. How would that define your whole being? What you are saying would basically mean people from different cultures cant be a couple because they have no common ground. Should we ban that?