Ha! not if I’m vegan!
Enjoy your piece of wood!
That wood was alive too you cruel bastard.
Enjoy your work and bills!
lovely board of wood.
Enjoy your bowel cancer and early death!
Adulthood isn’t always being a dick and cheese.
Nice bread, some houmous and balsamic to dip it in (separately, of course), marinated olives and artichoke hearts, grilled courgette and tomatoes
And some nice salted balls I mean balls I mean balls I mean nuts
You have a good sense of houmous.
I broke my arm in grade school and it has a kink in it now, everyone tells me it’s humerus
They should tell you it’s kinky.
That would be humorous.
Don’t forget the weird cheese made from rice which, while it tastes a little funny, reminds you of the hearth around which your forefathers sat.
I’ve never seen anyone spell hummus like that lol! Apparently that’s how they spell it in the UK?
I am in the UK so that would make sense. Going solely off of wikipedia’s page on the romanisation of Arabic, I’d hazard a guess that the UK spelling came via French
I never realised that it’s not from latin, but apparently the words hummus and humus have nothing to do with each other.
How do you marinate an olive?
garlic, capers, olive oil, a squeeze of lemon, basil, oregano, some giardiniera, pepperocini and a couple pickled onions.
i recommend mostly “black” olives with a few green ones for the salt and a bit more color.
Green ones with garlic and lemon juice are top notch though
do you have a muffaletta recipe?
I do not, unfortunately. I had actually never heard of that sandwich before but it looks really good. I am vegetarian, though, so it’ll have to stay just looking good for me
Could I interest you in bruschetta, and hummus and veggies instead?
God damn do I love a good bruschetta
How do you know someone is a vegan?
They will tell you.
the one joke
How can you tell someone is a brainless gout ridden carnist? They retell the same tired old joke over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over.
You seem pretty upset, you’re not yourself when you’re hangry. Need a sandwich?
So carnist is a thing now?
I would assume only for vegans who are committed to being elitist about it.
Not shitting on other’s people’s life choices is cool.
Even if they are being kind of a dick about it.
Yay I love chartut… the uh sharcutery… the meat and cheese on a board
Adult lunchables
Sharkcoochie board
Charcuterie, but it doesn’t include the cheese actually, it’s the name of the type of meat preps
to be honest, I had to fight autocorrect to misspell charcuterie for the joke
How do you feel about crew do tay?
Shark cutery
sharcutery
Is that where the meat part of the board is just hakarl, fermented shark?
Tagliere salumi e formaggi
cheese board but the board is made of ciabatta
I am a cheese board purist, can’t eat shit if the board isnt made out of cheese
You just cracked this thing wide open
Olive ciabatta is sooo damn good
Don’t tell anyone about this secret sandwich technology.
I stick with the wood. More fiber.
Sometimes it’s Grain liquor and slim jims (happiest expression)
Bold of you to assume we can afford any of that.
Not anymore it isn’t. I remember my parents getting a weeks worth of meats and cheese for €15 making the same wage as i do now.
I would now pay roughly 50€ for a similar selection, so no more meats and cheese because i also pay triple the rent they did for a house half the size.
No i’ll never stop complaining about it because my wage 10 years ago paid for a lovely house and allowed me to enjoy life by working out like the beast i enjoy being and now i’m left empty handed beside a load of skills that my employer deems worthless but a requirement nonetheless.
Make it make sense, because i’m certain we deserve more than what we currently get.
Amen.
The wages didn’t change, but the cost of everything sure did.
This timeline sucks.
My favorite part is when I get one whole day to sit quietly and no one bothers me… It’s glorious
Charcuterie- making Lunchables high brow food for adults.
Turns out of you do this with a basic block of cheddar and cheap shaved ham, everyone still thinks you’re being fancy and compliments you on the cheese choice.
The real key is to get 3 different cheeses that look different. They don’t have to be fancy cheeses. They just have to be obviously different cheeses.
Likewise, get some salami and another meat.
ground beef
I do this sometimes as a treat for myself. The rest of the time I’m way too poor to afford it.
I know chaturie is supposed to be an appetizer/shared, but given the cost of everything, it’s now my dinner, and I’m not sharing.
I don’t know 'bout y’all, but I get them woody fibers between my teeth.
The trick is to have wooden teeth.
Ah the George Washington strategy.
Don’t forget the wine
Meet amd cheese
It’s a nice feeling to fill up your shopping cart with sweets, knowing no-one can stop you.
Would.
