I’d make it so that liquid soap dispensers sounded like they were struggling to nut quietly each time you pressed down.
I quite like the (I think?) Jewish curse: “may your laundry never dry”. That would suck wearing clothes that are always slightly damp.
Calm down Satan!
I know you jest, but the more you think about it, the nastier a curse it is. For example, your crack would always be itchy. You’d never be able to put your clothes away because mold would devour them. And so on.
You could never wear socks because your feet would get diseased.
Exactly. It would suck.
That’s terrible, haha.
Every set of stairs has one step that is slightly taller than the rest
Don’t bother with steps that are each different — making steps the wrong height/length is enough. If you ever walked up/down stairs that felt really weird it’s probably because the builder ignored the international standards on that topic and built steps that are a couple centimeters off.
That was actually a thing in castle design. There’d be one step just high enough compared to the others that an assassin chasing the king would hopefully stumble on it, and the king could turn around and stab the assassin.
I’m sure you mean all the heights are a little different, but I’m envisioning where every step has to be taller than the previous one and the shenanery that would happen to make long stair cases navigable. Start with teeny tiny steps to end with uncomfortably large ones.
You monster.
You know how you sometimes get a pebble stuck under your shoe and walking just feels weird until you remove it?
That, but there’s no actual pebble.
I already have that curse tyvm
So everyone has corns?
You lose the ability to differentiate between a fart and a poo.
Crohns and colitis say hi
Old. You’re describing what it’s like to get old.
Everytime you open a door it moans with pleasure.
This answer is brought to you by the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation
Marvin hates it.
Thematic w/ mine, I like it!
Bell ringing sound every time you get an erection
That could be deafening in certain public spaces.
This one’s my favorite
Jimmy Valner
No matter how hard one squeezes, there’s ALWAYS three or four drops of pee leftover, poised to strike after one finishes their business.
IT WAS YOU!
^This person right here officer.
Make it so that when you arrive home you’re never allowed to put your keys in the same place more than once.
Forgot something in the car and have to go back out? Time to find a new spot…
Oh hey, it’s like ADHD for everyone!
Surviving adhd’er does a “spot” count if my keys are always attached to my pants?
As the rulemaker I’d say that’s fair game, but you’d have to keep them strapped to your pajamas otherwise that’s when you’d need to find a spot.
I think my wife has this curse already.
Did this already happen? Because I never put them in the same place and am constantly rushing to find them lol.
wind makes everyone ticklish
That tornado sure sounds fun…
The good thing I can say is that Bob died laughing.
The bad thing is that if he hadn’t been laughing so much he might not have been standing there laughing when the wind threw a telephone pole at him.
All doors you try to open actually open the opposite direction
What’s new here?
Pocket doors would be a euclidean nightmare
Eyelids become translucent. In other words, you can still see anything and everything when your eyes are closed.
You own a lot of stock in eyemasks?
I own The Eyemask Emporium.
I liked their eye masks so much, I bought the place
This would be awesome! No need for underwater goggles anymore! I could shut my eyes against strong winds and still see!
You would still see your eyelashes though. Also, sleeping would be a bit more challenging.
You must greet everyone you meet with a handshake and ten seconds of uninterrupted eye contact. Forced smiles and a serious talk about how you really are doing are also mandatory.
Pretty awkward if you ask me :)Neurodivergent hell.
USB-C now has the same connector directionality problem that USB-A does
Id like to think it would still work both ways mechanically, but would be one sided electrically.
That’s way worse.
Funnily enough, there are cases where that occurs. The Zed Mini is a great example, where the orientation of the cable affects it’s ability to fully utilise USB bandwidth. I don’t recall the reason off the top of my head, but I have shared stories with a number of people in the computer vision sector who have torn their hair out over those cameras only to discover that they don’t work properly when the cable is “upside down”
Everyone is ever so slightly telepathic, functionally making a web of felt emotions with no thoughts connecting them so what you feel from this is basically a summary of the people in the area around you.
Example: Everyone could be focused at work, nothing major going on, until someone thinks about their significant other and all of a sudden there’s a tiny bit of horny thrown in the mix, everyone knows its there, and no one knows who put it there.
Women are already scarce in IT.
switch locations of penis and anus
Stand back girls I know how to twerk it
Good lord.
