• Cabrio@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      My tips for surviving beyond middle age.

      Move to a country with socialised healthcare and reasonable unemployment systems.

      Develop a mental illness, you’re 36 so you probably have a couple already.

      Apply for disability and reduce your workload to 20 hours a week.

      Have your parents die so you can have a chance at owning a house so you have somewhere to die other than hospice.

      Kids are a double edged sword, kill you now, look after you later. Might be better financially to not bother, as you’ll have to go back to full time work just for a chance to ensure they don’t grow up neglected, and if they do there goes your retirement.

      • electrogamerman@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Have your parents die? So murder your parents?

        Also Kids are not a double edge sword. You are not supposed to have kids, so they take care of you when you are old. That’s just a recipe for them growing up neglected.

      • phaeton83@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Countries with socialized healthcare and reasonable unemployment systems aren’t letting poor Americans in.

        • Cabrio@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          Don’t worry, depending which way the election swings you’ll probably have a legitimate reason to seek asylum.