• Cabrio@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    8
    arrow-down
    3
    ·
    edit-2
    1 year ago

    My tips for surviving beyond middle age.

    Move to a country with socialised healthcare and reasonable unemployment systems.

    Develop a mental illness, you’re 36 so you probably have a couple already.

    Apply for disability and reduce your workload to 20 hours a week.

    Have your parents die so you can have a chance at owning a house so you have somewhere to die other than hospice.

    Kids are a double edged sword, kill you now, look after you later. Might be better financially to not bother, as you’ll have to go back to full time work just for a chance to ensure they don’t grow up neglected, and if they do there goes your retirement.

    • electrogamerman@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      3
      ·
      1 year ago

      Have your parents die? So murder your parents?

      Also Kids are not a double edge sword. You are not supposed to have kids, so they take care of you when you are old. That’s just a recipe for them growing up neglected.

    • phaeton83@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      2
      ·
      1 year ago

      Countries with socialized healthcare and reasonable unemployment systems aren’t letting poor Americans in.

      • Cabrio@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        1
        ·
        1 year ago

        Don’t worry, depending which way the election swings you’ll probably have a legitimate reason to seek asylum.