• doppelgangmember@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      7
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      1 year ago

      That sounds pretty rough and i’m sorry for your struggles…

      I hope things get better with time for you. Even if not monetarily or physically, at least mentally. You are a self-aware individual which makes you smarter than many and you seem to work hard, even if to just survive. All you can do is wake up, find something you enjoy in the day, be nice to others, and, most importantly (also v hard for me), be kind to YOURSELF.

      Sadly we can’t control what others are doing or saying, but you can control the narrative you give yourself. Shut them out if they oppose you for who you are. Keep being yourself. Take the world one day at a time and find inner peace. The rest is fruitless in the end.

    • AmarkuntheGatherer@lemmygrad.ml
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      13
      arrow-down
      2
      ·
      1 year ago

      Kids have always dreamed of vocations. Kids feel that calling sense in a much purer way than adults can. They want to sing so they want to be a star. They want to make new things, invent stuff, so they want to be scientists. They want to be cool as shit so they want to become astronauts.

      Capitalism fucks that up in so many ways. I’m not even talking about the fact that western kids today want to be streamers. Nowadays (as in as has been for decades) there’s no calling, even kids realise that being the lowest grunt in whatever organisation isn’t much of a goal so they also dream of “advancement”, except that means doing less of the thing you want to do to manage. And if you advance enough, you get to not do that thing you went in to do.

      Worst of it all, this is just what we face as kids. To say nothing on the alienation we suffer from, to feel like an animal doing human actions and human fulfilling animal needs. Folks got so used to the term wage slavery that they don’t even comprehend how inhuman labour under capitalism is.

      • queermunist she/her@lemmy.ml
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        8
        arrow-down
        3
        ·
        1 year ago

        Y’all still feel like animals?

        I feel more machine than the robots I work with. A labor unit to be used and discarded when I break down.

        • AmarkuntheGatherer@lemmygrad.ml
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          5
          arrow-down
          1
          ·
          1 year ago

          I get you, really, but I don’t think Marx could’ve given robots as an example. I was paraphrasing from Estranged Labour.

          Besides, robotics aren’t always treated with the carelessness we are. The capitalists own the robots as they were machinery, and you know how scum are when it comes to their stuff being damaged.

          • queermunist she/her@lemmy.ml
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            5
            arrow-down
            1
            ·
            1 year ago

            As someone that works with machinery on a daily basis I think they treat us about the same. The machines I work with are barely functional pieces of shit that are only kept going by quick fixes and half measures, just gotta last long enough until it’s the next shift’s problem! Capitalists treat us the same because the cost to operate and replace us is the same - if the machinery is more expensive they don’t buy it, they just scream at us to work harder.

    • OceanSoap@lemmy.ml
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      5
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      1 year ago

      While this is partially true, there’s been a lot of study on what makes us feel like we have purpose, and how our sense of purpose drives our well-being. They’ve even done studies on the elderly and found that those who retire and just “relax” tend to die earlier than those who continue to “work” in some way (note that “work” is broad in this usage. Volunteering, or having a structure and activities where you feel like you’re filling a need is included).

      A carreer that you are able to partake in with severely reduced hours can easily be just that.

  • albigu@lemmygrad.ml
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    8
    ·
    1 year ago

    I always think of all the fun work I’d like to do but can’t because it’s not economically feasible. Research, game dev, learning to compose. At least I take a lot of solace in thinking that eventually other people will have the right to do what they think is best without having to worry about paying rent or whether they’ll get health insurance through it, and that I’m helping on that front in some way.

  • OceanSoap@lemmy.ml
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    7
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    1 year ago

    Okay, but, it takes some serious introspection to re-examine what will actually make you happy vs. what you’ve always thought would make you happy.

    I had to really dig into that in my early 30’s, and now in my late 30’s, I couldn’t be happier.

  • Samuraipizzacat@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    5
    ·
    1 year ago

    Worst thing we can do is spend time with people who don’t actually love us. 34 and I’m ripping my life up by the roots because I let myself be taken by others who I made happy but never cared enough to pay attention to me. Everyone is mad at me for making the decision to end my long term relationship. What no one understands is how unhappy I was trying to force myself to be happy.

    • theragu40@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      3
      ·
      edit-2
      1 year ago

      I’ve said this to other people before when trying to counsel them regarding difficult decisions.

      Does what you are doing ultimately make you happy? Strip away everything else, every other factor. Especially those that involve others. Narrow it down to this one thing: the pursuit of your own happiness. At the end of the day, your own happiness is very literally the only point to anything. We get one life to live. If you’re doing something that isn’t pushing you to be happier, what are you doing? Why do it? What purpose is served by being unhappy?

      Certainly not every individual action will make us happy, but I think it makes sense to really assess whether our choices and paths are building towards something that will increase our happiness, and strongly consider dropping things that do not.

      Of course the catch is that this simple advice is quite difficult to enact. Assessing whether something contributes to your happiness requires a level of self understanding and introspection that people may not be comfortable with. But that journey is part of the process, IMO.

    • SovereignState@lemmygrad.ml
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      1
      ·
      1 year ago

      I feel you. Been realizing I’ve been too boundaryless, been too open, and I let people in who did nothing but take advantage of my kindness and love and gave nothing back. They turned me into someone I’m not, told me who I am, told me what to think.

      I was told I alienated these people, that I was the problem. What am I thinking anymore? Good. Glad I alienated the people who could only love me if I acted, looked and thought a certain type a way. I am figuring out who I am now and I like the guy I’m getting to know. Hope you’re getting the chance to get to know yourself better now that you’re single and you’re liking who you’re meeting, too.

      Can’t let others control us, our thoughts, our beings. I speak only from my experiences, but sometimes it can be easy to find ourselves carrying the burdens of others’ expectations and demands while barely even realizing we’re being crushed.

    • theragu40@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      5
      ·
      1 year ago

      To a certain extent, yeah. You can control the things you individually do on a micro level.

      The killer is that as you get older you realize how little those micro level actions matter on the macro scale. And I think you feel somehow even more powerless to enact change as an adult than as a kid because you can finally perceive the larger picture.

      • toomanyjoints69@lemmygrad.ml
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        0
        arrow-down
        3
        ·
        edit-2
        1 year ago

        Try suppressing your emotions (thats good to do sometimes) and focus on your duty. Be a good husband, worker, and friend. If its beyond your control, then don’t worry about it. Its not your problem if the crane carrying you while you do construction work is operated by a drunk.

        this meme from my earlier post is how I feel if you are miserable. https://lemmygrad.ml/post/713812

        • queermunist she/her@lemmy.ml
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          3
          arrow-down
          1
          ·
          edit-2
          1 year ago

          What makes me miserable are the things that aren’t beyond all control, they’re just beyond my control.

          Though instead of just feeling sad, I get angry. Wakes me the fuck up!

  • qyron@lemmy.pt
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    5
    ·
    1 year ago

    I remember reading an article on how the objective of being was a complete farse and that teaching children that thought was a disservice for their future.

    Well, if teaching someone to go for happiness instead whatever we’re at right now is a disservice, I wonder what classifies as a positive message.