Also, the Jewish God and Muslim Allah are on the International Space Station.

  • FerbFletcher@reddthat.com
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    6 months ago

    This is either (1) satire, (2) trolling, or (3) someone who has no real grasp of Christianity. Or some combination of the above.

    • niktemadur@lemmy.world
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      6 months ago

      If there’s something the internet has confirmed since its’ inception, is that humanity is both incredibly clever and incredibly stupid, in equal measure, beyond what I ever imagined was possible, beyond what I could conceive.

    • AbsoluteChicagoDog@lemm.ee
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      6 months ago

      It’s clearly a joke. But it’s not that much more ridiculous than what many Christians actually believe. That’s the joke.

    • niktemadur@lemmy.world
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      6 months ago

      The all-powerful all-knowing Creator Of The Universe… needs little old ladies to at least once a week open up their pocketbooks and make a check out to The Creator, through His official human regional managers, because The Creator Of The Universe… does not have direct access to the Federal Reserve or any of the banks, and even with a constant stream of revenue from little old ladies AND a privileged tax status, He ALWAYS seems to be bitching and whining about how He. Needs. More. Money! I guess?

  • MadMaurice@discuss.tchncs.de
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    6 months ago

    “Satellites block God’s ability to watch us”

    The omniscient, omnipotent god is defeated by a piece of space trash? What a rip-off.

  • BananaPeal@sh.itjust.works
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    6 months ago

    This is the right amount of crazy that I’m not sure if it’s honest or parody for this country.

    Also: Jesus gets my prayers because he’s in my heart, checkmate atheists.

  • LifeBandit666@feddit.uk
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    6 months ago

    Satan wins again. At this point the Christians have to admit they chose the losing side.

    I mean this God of theirs is shit, can’t even get around satellites, didn’t think humans might beat their cocks raw despite seeing it constantly in Human 1.0 (Chimps), or that they might eat fish on a Tuesday or whatever. Even Jesus was fucking a whore and he was God incarnate.

    Also God invented Cancer.

    • some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org
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      6 months ago

      No, you’re mistaken. Lonnie is on the Right, which means his satellites reflect and amplify prayers. Or at least get a pass. He hates LGBTQ people, so he’s “good.” /s

      • SlopppyEngineer@discuss.tchncs.de
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        6 months ago

        No need for /s because that’s exactly how it works.

        “If you hate the right people and say the right things, you are Good People, and Good People can’t do no wrong. If you’re not one of the Good People, you can do no right. Laws and rationalizations are there to punish those that are not Good People.”

    • Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de
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      6 months ago

      yes but he doesn’t want to interfere with our precious free will, starvation and rape be damned

      we just have to pull ourselves up by our bootstraps

  • Norgur@discuss.tchncs.de
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    6 months ago

    God: Almighty being that just blinked everything into existence in a.week Also God: me am no completent enourgh to strip theses sattrilghts

  • Fog0555@lemmy.world
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    6 months ago

    First off, if Satellites give us more Evel Knievel that’s a major win and we should launch more.

    Secondly, they’re entirely right that too many satellites are a problem, they just missed the mark as to why. It’s space debris we should be worried about preventing future spacecraft.

  • matlag@sh.itjust.works
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    6 months ago

    I kind of hope it’s real. Down that path at some point they’ll decide the whole Internet and all modern technologies are satanist and leave Internet for good. They can embrace the Amish lifestyle, it’s a win for the rest of us.

  • Jungle@linux.community
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    6 months ago

    Are you sure you are listening on the right wave band? God has moved to the 2.3GHz L-band allocated for DAB.

  • Dizzy Devil Ducky@lemm.ee
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    6 months ago

    So, they’re saying that man made satellites are able to stop God that he’s not all powerful and that we’re more powerful than God?

    Or is it that technology is bad and we need to go back to pre-technology times when life was so much worse for the average human so that way some religious nut jobs can continue praying to a being that they’ve essentially admitted to not being all powerful?

  • 768@sh.itjust.works
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    6 months ago

    That sounds like the story of those Christians who were afraid of lightning rods because it might interfere with their God’s ability to punish people by lightning.

    • Flax@feddit.uk
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      6 months ago

      Or the ones who thought street lighting was demonic. This pattern has basically occurred repeatedly throughout history

      • 768@sh.itjust.works
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        6 months ago

        I consider these associations of QOL improvements with mythical characteristics attempts of narrative control, with which religious leaders could exert power over new developments. My assumption is that previously, organised religions were powerful and agile enough in their narrative that those new development could be held in control of the religion, but with the beginning of exponential and distributed knowledge production they were kinda outnumbered and became as weird as they are today. I have no motivation or sources to back this up, though.

        • Flax@feddit.uk
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          6 months ago

          Sorry mate, I think you’re just crazy.

          It’s likely just paranoid people using religion to justify their paranoia