I fall poopy b-hole first onto the edge of my bathtub.
I guess this is me now.
i am telefragged as my head is now inside of a table
IIRC the way telefragging works in Quake is that the thing occupying the destination gets telefragged. I think that you’d be okay and the table would be seriously messed up.
I’m inside a wall now
I am outside in nothing but my underwear. It is cold and raining outside. The doors and windows are locked and i don’t remember the garage code. No one is home to let me in for another hour or so. D:
Well I am pretty sure that puts me in the concrete wall at work. I probably won’t know, but my coworkers are going to need therapy for life.
About half of my body is now occupying the same space-time position as my refridgerator.
I die almost instantly, the half that is left outside the fridge slumps to the floor and creates a gory mess for my partner to find.
Meanwhile, the other half of my mass is busy trying to occupy the same place as my refrigerator probably causes additional…effects. Does it explode? Does it just make a mess in the fridge? I will never know. Either way, it’s safe to say my family is getting a new fridge.
A bunch of people in here without something solid two feet to the left of them seem to be assuming that there is a perfect them-shaped vaccuum that they will be teleported into. That’s not the case. There is air there, and you’ll be just as dead as the guy sitting next to the family refrigerator.
Unless you are an astronaut currently in space, the only correct answer is “dying of multiple simultaneous embolisms, with or without widespread traumatic amputations, and ‘gross dismemberment’ (SFW, only text) from instantaneous pressure changes inside the body.”
Presumably, teleportation is a bidirectional process, and everything that was occupying the space you now take gets teleported to your previous position.
Solution: telefrag everything.
I am now laying on my sister’s bed instead of my own.
If this happened 10 minutes ago, I would be outside of my car on the highway and that would be bad.
And that is why you don’t read lemmy while driving!
You’re old enough to own a car, but your bed is within two feet of your sister’s? Please help me understand.
We live together in a very small apartment.
I’m pooping, so no bueno.
I’m falling down my apartment building’s stairwell. Ow.
I’ll be done worrying about work today, I tell you what.
*hwat
Part of me is outside, part is inside, and part is stuck in the wall.
Just squirted shit all over my neighbors floor
I fall out of my chair
