Like he’s going to let us into Heaven to trash it after seeing what slobs we were down here.

Also just common with many bookstores generally. There are a lot of bookstores open at night. It’s a weird take.

Fries, ketchup, makeup, and butt.

Imagine turning on a black light inside the Vomit/Semen Comet.

Joke’s on them, I won the robot dogs over with my pets and can turn the sentry turrets against the guards.

Sundown Towns, a book about the history of American racism, specifically the number of towns that had signs up warning black citizens not to be there after sundown. Spoiler: it was pretty much most of the towns. All over. It’s a sobering read, not a pick-me-up.

This is why I follow every single text or email with a, “Hey, did you just see my message?” phone call.

I’m ranked platinum in Rocket League, which is pretty damn impressive if you know nothing about Rocket League rankings.

That would require a functional system of government.

OCCULT CARS? Maybe a Tesla shirt?

Hot lava, snow, rain, and fog. Long-neck giraffes and pet cats and dogs.

They just want to see your face before you masturbate. ;)

Wait until they start demanding an “after” picture.

Infamous Cave of Pooh

If a squash can make you smile… ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

You’re not how orbital mechanics work.

Land in ocean, suddenly Tom Hanks is involved.

See? They still landed amongst the stars.

Damn. That’s worth savoring.

That was the day OP learned to slice bread like a machine.

“When Putin nuts, I intend to keep sucking, folks.”

The Bible says Adam and Eve, not Adam in Southend-on-Sea.