Was in a public restroom years ago, I was the only person in it at that moment, taking care of business.
About a minute after I had sat down in the stall, I hear the main door to the bathroom smash open and a male voice desperately saying, “Shit! oh fuck me! Ohmahgaw! Holyshitomagaw! Fuck me!!!”
He slams open the door a few stalls down from mine, all the while never stopping his stream of profanity. I hear his pants ripped off and his belt hitting the floor, and what follows is a massive explosion of farts, liquid-sounding poop, and the entire time, he never stops loudly blaspheming lol. “Ppfffftt!!!OhhhhfuckkkPPRRrrppSPLASH!!!Ohhhmahgaww!PPrrrppprrtttShiiittFuggggohhh!PrrrtprraaaPPSplashhhh!!!Awshhiii!!”
I had to hold in my laughter while trying to wipe, pull my pants up, flush, and haul ass out of there before screaming with laughter the moment I got out of the bathroom lol.
Poor guy, I don’t know what he ate, but it came back with a brutal vengeance.
Lol!