• ColorcodedResistor@lemm.ee
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    1 year ago

    I have a wife of 10 years, and i keep in contact with a handful of friends. you reap what you sow. A lot of my friends wont actively engage unless i initiate which puts a lot of burden and annoyance.on me at times. but once i make the call they usually come. Although the wife and i have been ‘dating’ like horny ass teens for that amount of time and just recently have we decided to settle down and try for a kid. 35M/40F

    I honestly can’t fathom why anyone in their 20s could think they are capable mentally, financially or otherwise. to bring a baby into this world.

    as an unwanted bastard child who was abandoned by both my parents i find it a little disingenuous to raise kids in your 20s when you still have so much left to learn. some people treat their vagina like a clown car with 4+ kids. but that’s them and im me.

    • People grow up at different speeds, both in experience and emotionally. Some people are perfectly fine parents in their 20s, others never grow to be responsible parents.

      My wifes parents had her in their late 30s and fucked things up completely. my parents started with my siblings when they were 24/30 which was late at the time, but quite early by today standards. They did well overall, of course making some mistakes. (who doesn’t?)

    • 7u5k3n@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Good luck man! I’m 43 just had my first 135 days ago. Glad I have him. Glad I waited.
      It’s a fun ride and I hope you guys get to take it.

        • 7u5k3n@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          Thanks man! Our little guy is sleeping 8-9 hours a night already… granted that’s 7-4am but still I’ll take it. Once he started doing that… Life got easier to manage.

          I can’t wait till he’s mobile and we can experience him experienceing life.

          Congrats on your kiddo as well!!!

    • vivadanang@lemm.ee
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      1 year ago

      Yeah I’m amazed at the folks who casually have kids, as if it were the only option when they got preggo.

      45yo man, same thing with the friends - solid group, but I do almost all the outreach. part of that is them having younger kids in some cases. otherwise, well, sometimes if you want friends you have to carry that shit yourself.

      the thing that gets me is: it’s one thing to struggle to make friendships work, but really it was when I was a kid, so… meh. some things don’t change I guess.