“What’s with all the bags of ice?”
so you say you always bring an empty cooler with you on a first date. that’s interesting
Takes off all clothes to get ready for some love making … “What? You want me to wash my body first? … OK?” …everything goes black
"Why does everything smell like iodine and pine needles… /slump
Last thought before passing out, “awe, I’m going to miss out on all the sex.”
Drop the bullshit and tell me your exact blood type
Nice try Dr Acula!
Dr. Jan Itor
Partner for “life”.
Of all the things in that picture, what bothers me still is why only London written in cyrillic?
It’s the way Tinder renders. ‘Lives in’ shows up in the language/alphabet of the app of the creator of the profile, while all other headers are processed in the language of the viewer of the profile.
It actually serves as a decent trick for learning the language settings on the app of a person who’s profile you’re viewing.
You know what, same.
I can fix her
Watch out, or she’ll fix you
The benefits of having a gf surgin
If she’s surgin’ for cash, she may bring in a surgeon to grab your kidneys
She didn’t ask for him to have a job
Or be over 6’. You have a point.
Organ dealers don’t see height 🥺😍
they dont care about appearance, what they do care about is whats inside!
Respond to the posting with you mentioning that you live alone and have O- negative blood type cause fuck it you only live once.
There were urban legends back in the 80s and 90s about tourists in beach resort cities hooking up with attractive women in bars and discos, going back to their apartments or hotel rooms to keep drinking, passing out, then waking up next day… without the corneas of their eyes! Completely blind!
The one I used to hear was waking up in a tub of ice without one or both kidneys
A friend of mine many many years ago met a girl on a dating site and mentioned it to his mom. She announced that it was a kidney harvesting scam and would not let him go on the date unless he agreed to check in with her afterwards. During the date she texted him multiple times to watch his drink and make sure he doesn’t get his kidneys harvested. When he didn’t respond fast enough she called me and made me promise I would go and rescue him if it happened. After the date she wouldn’t accept text messages that everything was fine. He had to call her and make sure that she could hear his voice. She also called me again and asked me to drop by his apartment to make sure he was there.
She really was a nice woman, just a bit touched.
“What kind of decent, good-looking woman would want to go out with my son”
Haha I promise you it wasn’t like that. It was the whole dating someone via the Internet that set off her.
goes on date
Man- "lets play a game, i tell you what i like about you and you tell me what you like about me.
Olga- “how valuable your are to me” (whispers under her breath) “economalicly”
Eh more of a operation guy tbh
Economalicaly, haha pure gold
Alright guys, you get one more try.
(pssst, I think the misspellings are actually intentionally part of the joke)
Sounds more like a “till death do us part” rather than a long time partner to me :/
“lifetime” partner :-)
Suspicious
must reside within 5 hectares of the М̷̩̦̩͕̆̈́̇̊о̶̡͉̱̺͉̦̐̍̍͗̋р̶͇͍̈̆͋о̷̨̝̺̪̥̱̹̫̦̝̝̥͚̺͐̓͋̾͒̋̏͐̈́͌̊̎͜͝з̶̧̡̹̜̪̟̭̤͚̤͎̳̓̉͋͘ͅо̷̨̦̋в̸̙̙̑ͅо̵͓̹̲͕͈̫͇̤̾̄̐͊͑̅͗̌͌̅͘ city-centre
“What’s with the fava beans and that nice bottle of chianti?”
🚩🚩🚩🚩
Well one more reason to do drugs
