So I’ve been taking chinese classes recently for obvious reasons, and yesterday we had to talk about our families, parents and their jobs.

Firstly, I felt really embarrassed about just having 吗吗和我 (my mom and me) in my immediate family, while everyone else had mom’s and dad’s and siblings. I know why I felt sad during that, cause I hate being reminded that I know my moms subsequent boyfriends more than I know my dad. Plus I feel spoiled for being an only child (独生子) but at the same time hating the consequences of being lonely and having to be an emotional support son for my mom.

Secondly, when talking about professions, everyone else’s parents were doing the expected things. Doctors (医生), lawyers (律师) and casino/bank managers (赌场/银行经理). My mother is just a simple warehouse worker (仓库工人).

It’s like…I don’t know. I don’t know if it’s just me feeling like Im spoiled or ungrateful for going to college instead of working or going to trade school, or if I feel like my family is a failure, or what.

There’s not a lot of point to this post. I just feel really…ashamed of myself and I don’t know why