Got high with my ex and her new boyfriend. Well, he wasn’t her boyfriend yet. That was the night it happened.

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Drugs. A few times my harm reduction practices were shaky at best, though overall I was pretty good, but still. I wouldn’t trade it for the world, but dumb nonetheless and life changing absolutely.

If only I could have the wisdom that comes from trauma without actually having to deal with trauma and it’s circumstances…oh I guess life would be kinda dull that way though.

There was this prince fleeing his African kingdom that fell shortly after. He contacted me and wanted my help in moving much of his wealth abroad. I decided I couldn’t help him, because I was preoccupied with different stuff back then. To think that I lost the possibility to gain some neat percentage of all this money…

I failed to objectively reason and logically assess the fundamental religious extremism I was raised with for the first 30 years of my life.

I took three tabs of acid at a festival and had one hell of a night! If only I could remember it…

When I was in the Army, one time we built a racetrack, complete with jumps, for the bulldozers. One person drove, the rest of us just hung on with our bare hands, with the moving treads a few feet below us, no seatbelts, no safety harness, nothing. The motor pool Sergeant said we could do it as long as we all wore our kevlar (helmet) (he was also nuts and didn’t care about shit). That no one fell off and got crushed under the treads is a miracle. God, we were so dumb. Helluva ride, though.

Forgetting to flash decypt.zip after flashing a custom ROM causing a 6 month data loss.

Do I have to pick only one? I wasn’t a very bright kid.

• Willingly let someone taze my testicles in exchange for a beer
• Chased black bears off the trail behind our house for no reason, usually with nothing more than a nearby stick
• Skinny dipping in a river known to be filled with leeches
• Got in a drunk argument with a raccoon, which led to my first underage drinking ticket because I refused to be spoken to in that tone
• Became friends with said raccoon and even met its kits once over stale day old bread I brought home from my high school job at Jimmy John’s
• Made a potato gun and accidentally fired it backwards, breaking the glass window in the garage
• Threw M80’s into the water to go fishing Crocodile Dundee style
• Believed a girl I barely knew when she said she was on the pill

So i was on a beach it was a grad party around 2004 or 5, i played the roll of a high school stoner (suprised ain’t 'cha) and was drinking and having a good time when i decided to slam the rest of my bottle and make molotov cocktail out of my empty JD bottle. I fill it with some gas someone had in a jerry can steal a beer out of a cooler and start walking to the rocks. One of the hockey jocks was the apparent owner of this wonderful cooler of free beer, and was rather upset at my generous usage of said cooler. So as him and his boys approached i lit the boxers i stuffed into the gas and threw the bottle almost strait up, and as i wathced the horror in the faces of all around me who were paying attention to the almost altercation, the lit bottle landed strait up at my feet gently in the sand.

Got in a relationship in HS. My life would’ve head in a different trajectory if I had just focused on friends and school instead of devoting most of my time and effort to that relationship

I started a camp fire in a dry grass field. Needless to say the field quickly caught fire. I was maybe 10 years old at the time. Should not have been playing with fire.

I pursued a degree without really understanding what the one relevant job would have entailed until my junior year of college. Turns out, I would have hated that job.

To be fair to my past self, I was just a kid and I really wasn’t offered proper guidance. But yeah, wish I made different choices, so I didn’t have to go through such a huge quarter life crisis.

Bought 220k house for my mom to live with me. She passed away 2 months after I had signed. Old place was paid off. Still got the old place. Day dream all the time about selling the new place and getting out of it without putting money in.

Old place is way ran down, a crap ton smaller, but I don’t owe anything on it.

I sliced off the very tip of my ring finger on Friday cutting boxes with a box cutter Friday. I’m comfortable saying that’s probably the dumbest thing I’ve ever done