• pixeltree@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    3 months ago

    No one and probably won’t any time soon for a plethora of reasons. When I hooked up with a guy for the first time he really made me feel attractive and wanted and I almost broke down too. Terrible self-esteem and being starved for affection is a rough time.

      • pixeltree@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        3 months ago

        Oh I know why, it’s not like I couldn’t find a relationship if I tried, it’s that I think I’d be a terrible partner and my presence in someone’s life would make it worse and I’m not willing to do that to someone. Struggling incredibly with ADHD and I don’t think I’d be able to give a partner the proper time and attention due to the need to shovel stimulation into the black hole that is my brain, and I have bad depressive crashes, much worse than the baseline misery, that no one can help with and make people who care about me feel bad and guilty about not being able to help. Things have to improve a lot for me to seriously consider dating, and at this point I know better than to think that could happen.