• elavat0r@mander.xyz
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    1
    ·
    1 year ago

    I am glad I am not in the dating game at this point in my life. I know I very easily could have been an anxious wreck of a hermit if I was completely on my own. Hopefully not a conspiracy theorist, but I can’t honestly say I don’t have tendencies that could put me there.

    The poor relationship between the sexes is something I have morbidly kept my eyes on for a long time. I married pretty young, but I have a good handful of inexplicably single friends, both male and female. None of whom seem to be compatible with each other, or frankly even living in the same perceptual universe. They are all good people, fairly successful, and not being unreasonable in their standards as far as I can tell. But there is just some complete lack of trust or faith in the opposite sex on both ends. It hurts to watch.

    I think best case scenario is that matchmaking services and “arranged marriages” (by this I mean voluntary setups through families and social networks, nothing coercive) begin to catch on. There has got to be a way to pair up people who are at least somewhat vetted for trustworthiness and seriousness in seeking companionship, outside of the confusing and alienating social landscape we have developed, or the meat market of online dating. But maybe I am naïve to think that would work.

    • SJ_Zero@lemmy.fbxl.net
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      1
      ·
      1 year ago

      In 2008, something I came up with was the concept where when you get rid of rules long after everyone who set them up are gone, people don’t know why the rules exist, so when the rules are removed they just assume the rules were bad and they get massive short-term benefits, but soon they discover why the rules were there in the first place.

      I think we’re seeing why a lot of the rules between men and women existed. We got rid of the rules, but it turns out they existed for good reasons, to help ensure a level of trust between the sexes and to try to reduce behaviors that reduce trust and faith between sexes.

      We were already starting to see it back then (when I happened to be dating), but it’s gotten worse since then. Internet dating really didn’t help things, reducing people to photos and bullet points.