PLEASE NO ADVICE IF I SHOULD DO THIS I CAN WORK THIS PART OUT MYSELF.

I WANT TO KNOW WHAT QUESTIONS MIGHT BE USEFUL TO ASK BEFOREHAND.

Hello,

this might sound like a lie or a Letter to Penthouse, but I’m in a situation I’ve never thought to get in and I’m just a bit flabbergasted on how to proceed.

EDIT: Since English is not my First language and I lack the skill to keep this coherent without names,

Let’s say my fiancé’s Name is Lara.

And the Name of the female friend of mine is Nami.

Everything started when Nami came to visit me and Lara to celebrate Lara’s Birthday with us and our friends. Since Nami lives on the other side of the country, she came to stay a whole week with us.

We live near the Beach, so we went there and spent the day. I still have no Idea how we started talking about this, but we started talking that I (m) had no Problem if Lara would kiss another Girl. The conversation continued and she said she would like to experiment with me and another Girl.

Since Nami is in an open relationship with her significant other, we started jokingly talking about this.

Last night, Lara and I talked even more about this. And we agreed that Nami would be the only person (at the moment) with whom we could even think about doing something like this. So because we are cowards and haven’t done anything like this ever, we send her a Text message. (She was literally across the hallway in our living room). She said she somewhat expected something like this and said she will think about it. To be clear, we just want to start slow and I see what is okay to do and what not.

Lara is demisexual, and Nami is also not opposed to Girls (I forgot the correct Terminology, sorry ._.).

I have literally NO Idea what might come and I could REALLY need some advice. Do I just keep rolling with it and see what happens? Or should I do something?

Please don’t give me any “Frat bro”-type of advice, I’m not a Chad or anything. I’m a chubby dude who somehow managed to get a beautiful girl to fall in Love with me. I had sex with only two women ever (multiple times, though), so I know how to have Sex but this would be a HUGE step out of my known territory.

I’ve known Nami for more than 10 years.

And I love Lara with all my heart.

  • 𝒎𝒂𝒏𝒊𝒆𝒍@sopuli.xyzEnglish
    13·
    3 months ago

    I’d go with it, set the boundaries, like if it’s ok for you to pleasure Nami, is Lara ok with that? the same in the other direction, is it ok with Lara if Nami pleasures you etc.

  • Starayo@lemm.eeEnglish
    13·
    3 months ago

    Been trying to remember if there’s an episode of a podcast I listen to that dealt with this (the modern mann, named for the host, it’s not male-focused, there’s a segment where Alix Fox talks about sex-related questions), and I think there’s a couple that are related but not precisely.

    Communication is definitely one of the things I know have been brought up as very important. Setting expectations and boundaries.

    This may be one of those topics I think you might have to browse reddit to get a lot of experienced/detailed answers for - /r/EthicalNonMonogamy would be the place to search, probably.

  • lath@lemmy.world
    5·
    3 months ago

    I’d presume it’s the same as twosome, but with three people. Comfortable, consensual, fun.

    Since you’re taking it slow, if it ever reaches that point, it would be best to discuss boundaries beforehand, else there might be issues later on.