Not talking about being with one partner at a time. Talking about the idea of finding “the one” and being with them your whole life.

50% divorce rate. 97% of people (in the US) don’t wait till marriage, so most of us have multiple sexual partners prior to the one we stick with. Many have children with more than one partner.

How can anyone look at the world and think, yeah, there’s one that’s meant for everyone and just one?

Also hope I don’t come across disrespectful. If you do believe in monogamy, I am interested in hearing from you. I’m just buzzed and thinking about my own love life and being curt

Edit: Speaking to the idea that it’s the “natural order” or default. Not that it can’t work in individual circumstances, especially when we’ve been programmed for decades

  • SCB@lemmy.world
    332·
    1 year ago

    So I am non-monogamous in that I have several sexual partners at any time, as does my wife (were also swingers), but she is absolutely “the one” and I absolutely believe in the concept of one person for life.

    I do honestly believe in true love, a soul’s counterpart in another, it just happens that my personal one is also kind of a slut, too. It’s just another thing we have in common.

    Looking at divorce rates as a bad thing is misleading, imo. A high divorce rate isn’t necessarily bad. It’s people escaping bad matches,. It’s people learning and growing. It’s people still chasing that special thing that makes them say “holy shit I’ve found them.”

    Worth noting that I think there are many great loves people can have, and I was deeply in love several times before I was with my wife. It isn’t (and wouldn’t have been for me) “settling” to marry one of those great loves. Your One is what you make of it.

    • DudePluto@lemm.eeOP
      84·
      1 year ago

      do honestly believe in true love… it just happens that my personal one is also kind of a slut

      I’m happy that I read this sentence in my lifetime

      Looking at divorce rates as a bad thing is misleading, imo. A high divorce rate isn’t necessarily bad

      Oh absolutely. I don’t mean to moralize or demonize the issue. I just mean that, seeing as how as soon as divorce became socially acceptable it shot up to 50%, I’m not sure how people can view it as unnatural, I guess.

      Also your story is very sweet and every bit of what I want one day, so thank you for sharing. You have an interesting perspective

    • PunnyName@lemmy.world
      2·
      1 year ago

      Where’s the 50% divorce rate from? I’ve heard this over and over for decades, but nothing to prove it.

      • SCB@lemmy.world
        9·
        1 year ago

        An oft-cited APA/census study found that 35-50% of first marriages end in divorce. That number goes up for subsequent marriages (~66%).

        I think it’s bad reasoning to suggest that a 50% divorce rate has any bearing on any given marriage, though. People marry and get divorced for a wide array of reasons.