She was a rescue and I adopted her when she was 3, maybe 4, we were never sure. She was a breeder in her past life and abused. She came with all the neuroses that any rescue has mashed up in all the weirdness of a Boston Terrier.

She’s had ambulatory issues over the past year, but they didn’t become a problem until November. She went from occasionally stumbling, to constantly stumbling, so losing the ability to stand. She’s been able to move around, roam the backyard and house, and generally get where she wanted to go. But this morning I took her out, she made it down the ramp, took a few steps, and then fell over. She got her feet back under her but couldn’t get up. She struggled for a moment before giving up. She looked scared and confused because her body wasn’t doing what she wanted it to. I went and tried to help her, but even with help she couldn’t stand.

I thought I still had months with her, I’d hoped to make it to the summer when I know she’d have been happiest. But as the morning progressed it was clear this was a significant change. I took her to the vet who agreed… it’s time. I called my ex wife and we agreed together, it’s time. She cancelled her day and came over. We spent the rest of the day spending time with Mercy, giving her all her favorite treats, as much as she wanted. We remembered all the good times, went through the thousands of photos and videos in our phones. We laughed a lot, we cried a lot more. The vet arrived at the house at 6pm. I carried her down to the vet’s car at 6:46pm.

It all happened so fast. I’m in disbelief now 4 hours later. My life will never be the same. I miss her, and a part of me died when she crossed the rainbow bridge.

Mercy, you were the best, and you are desperately missed already.

  • june@lemmy.worldOPEnglish
    18·
    9 months ago

    The sun as always rose
    The same as any day

    I welcomed you to morning
    Never dreamt you’d go away

    You rose from your bed
    You couldn’t carry your weight

    I knew in a moment
    There could be no debate

    The day long I held you
    My pain a penance paid

    I kept my dark vigil
    As I gave my last embrace

    To count your life in minutes
    Is the evil end of love

    From a decade of friendship given
    To decide from up above

    I know it was the best
    But guilt has stolen my heart

    You deserved so much more
    But the time is now to part

    You were the light of my life
    And will ever live in me

    My pain will always endure
    But your love I’ll always see

    • littleblue✨@lemmy.worldEnglish
      9·
      9 months ago

      All the love, june. She’s better for finding you and you eased her passage onward. I had a furry shadow similarly enough that, through my ardent affection, lived far longer than experts consistently predicted — and happily too! In fact, he was spry as a pup the morning he left this world, and blissfully oblivious to what would eventually destroy his CNS slowly from the tail up. The 14+ years that I had him as my constant shadow, my compassionate litmus, my deeply warm sounding board, those years have forever changed me. For the better, I know, and I hope you find the same with the passing of your dear girl. All the love, june. Be well.

  • instamat@lemmy.worldEnglish
    61·
    9 months ago

    I love you Mercy. You were the best girl and you made a lot of people happy. Thank you for being a bright light in this world.

    I can barely see the screen with the tears in my eyes so forgive any typos

  • some_designer_dude@lemmy.worldEnglish
    3·
    9 months ago

    She was so lucky to have had you both as parents. As much as this part sucks, I hope you take some solace in knowing you absolutely rocked in your roles and she lived as well and as long as possible because of it.

  • HubertManne@kbin.social
    31·
    9 months ago

    This is just the worst. If it was not for my wife Im not sure I would even have another dog as the end is just so horrible but you need to do right by the dog like we would like to be for humans. With my last one we had just determined to do it but figured we had at least a week when she just stopped eating. She would not even eat any form of meat.