• MotoAsh@lemmy.world
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      10 months ago

      Sometimes the “offense” that guys feel over guys wearing skirts and stuff is definitely from closeted thoughts or outright self-hate, but that’s not necessarily the case. The underlying issue is they view clothing as gendered in the first place.

      Style shouldn’t be associated with sexual attraction implicitly, but it does for stupid people, and many people are stupid. Especially horny guys thinking with the wrong head.

      The mere presence of a particular article turns them on, and they project that to intent. It is entirely subjective if they get upset at popping a boner, or upset that a male would use clothing that traditionally makes a female sexy. It requires the dumb person to view another’s clothing choice as a direct expression to them, but stupid people taking things personally that aren’t personal should be preeeetty easy to understand!

      It’s a lesser mindset, male-focused version of, “what was she wearing?” after an SA event. Just because I’m trying to look pretty and you like some part of that, I am still most definitely not coming on to you by wearing it.

      • FloMo@lemmy.world
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        10 months ago

        I never really considered this perspective and really appreciate you sharing it, thank you!

      • shalafi@lemmy.world
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        10 months ago

        Just commented a couple of times on my kilts being a visible turn off to the women I’ve dated. I’m a small man, not afraid of girl clothes, but that wasn’t hitting with 'em.

        Before you go banging on people for “lesser mindsets” and such, consider this; Attraction is not a choice.

        Let me day that again for those in the back; Attraction is not a choice.

        I think we might be agreeing, but let’s not put people down for their attractions.

        • Instigate@aussie.zone
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          10 months ago

          We definitely shouldn’t be putting down people for their attractions, but I think there is value in highlighting that a person’s concept of attractiveness can be socially constructed and therefore can also be deconstructed.

          I think instead of labelling people with narrow or socio-centric concepts of attraction as “lesser” or stupid or uninformed isn’t fair, but I also think it’s fair to say that they likely haven’t gone through the process of deconstructing why they feel the way they do.

      • GlitterInfection@lemmy.world
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        9 months ago

        Oh definitely. While it’s not a given that bigoted folks are closeted, it’s worth noting that there’s been some studies showing it’s not just a joke: https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/homophobes-might-be-hidden-homosexuals/

        Your take on it seems likely in other cases, and/or some combo of both.

        That said, I would much rather a man with an erection look at me like on the right than like on the left, which was a bit more where my joke was coming from.