I decided I would be willing to date a non-vegan since despite the conveniences and shared ethics of other vegans, it can be hard to find them in general, and maybe I could influence people positively, though probably without any expectation for them to go vegan (but still hoping society will move toward it one day anyway).
But online questions asking people (non-vegans) if they would date a vegan really shocked and surprised me when most of the answers were no, mostly for reasons of inconvenience and a fear of being pulled into veganism. This leaves me feeling like finding other vegans may be my only option after all. Is this somewhat accurate?
As with any large life-style decision you’ll find it reduces the dating pool (and generally for good reason). Would you really want to spend your life with someone that spends free days smoking brisket or roasting ribs or generally preparing meals like that? To someone without dietary constraints (self imposed or otherwise) I’m sure that sounds heavenly, but if I were vegan in the situation (or vice versa tbh) I know I just wouldn’t desire the daily friction. Life should be as fluid as possible and there are plenty of lifestyle compatible people out there looking for companionship.
It goes the other way too. People who smoke meats are usually very excited to share their food with people. It takes a ton of time to smoke meat. Investing all that time just for yourself isn’t very fun. Not being able to share something with your SO that you put your heart into sucks. That said, my wife went vegan for about a year and we got by. We just had to put more thought into meals and restaurant choices. I guess it probably helped a lot that I just ate whatever she wanted to eat when we were home, and got a big ol steak when we’d go out.
Ye! I tried to allocate space for that in what I posted. I’m personally a vegetarian that likes a steak once or twice a year so I live on both sides of the fence. Essentially what I’m putting out though is that it’s perfectly natural and probably a good thing when people find partners with similar lifestyle choices. It just makes life easier, and a relationship will struggle to work if it feels like significant compromise and work.
But not too similar, or it gets boring and potentially destructive. I would be dead if I married someone like me. My wife introduces reason and balance into my life, and I introduce adventure and spontaneity into hers. It has worked well for us for the almost 2 decades we’ve been together.