Hey comrade! I think I somewhat understand the way you are feeling. In the past years I have been dealing with some panic attacks and anxiety over it. The best approach is going to therapy, but in my case what really helps is trying to not think about it, focusing on the good things around you. Even though that normally is bad advice, in this case I think is different since death is inevitable, it will come one way or another, its out our control. This creates a void that chases us, a darkness that is ever present, I know this feeling is horrifying, but there is no changing it, so thinking a lot about it only feeds the void making it bigger and stronger.
I hope you can find solace eventually and learn to accept this, since I believe there is no cure for the darkness, but learning to live with it makes it easier to carry on. Maybe I’m full of shit and you do find a solution. Who knows.
In any case, remember that you are good for the world, and we never know what the future holds. Who knows if maybe even a revolution. Try to stay as long as possible, you want every chance of not missing that out.
Stay strong and stay safe comrade, best of luck.
Funny how you request sources to one argument but swallow the other without question and provide none for your counter arguments.