Lol tbh I was having a bad week and then I did some heavy drinking before reading some of the comments. Not a good combo or idea. It’s all good now.

Sorry, I know it was a bit ridiculous for me to do but I know I’m ridiculous person. I guess I just have a bit of a sore spot for people putting me down when I’m truly and legitimately trying my best. When I’m not trying my best, it’s one thing, but when I am, then I go haywire.

Wouldn’t you agree though that all acts are inherently selfish? If I do something and it makes me feel good, doesn’t that make it selfish and make me an asshole?

These other commentors are right in that anything would probably make her uncomfortable. So I will likely continue to take inaction. But wouldn’t you agree that not taking action and not trying to be nice and kind also makes me an asshole?

So there is no winning. The only way to win would be to not know any other humans or to remove oneself from the equation entirely. It’s difficult to do as a social animal. But that is what would be best for the world, no? If all I am doing is causing harm to others then it would be helpful to the world to remove oneself from the situation, no?

Even by me editing the post, I am causing harm. I caused harm to and manipulated you into responding to the post in sympathy. Is that not the case? Do you not see how deplorable and evil that action is? Can you not agree that my existence is evil and every action I do causes harm to other human beings? I am harming you now as you read this. You do not deserve it, yet I continue to do so because I am an evil demon.

The “haters”, as you call them, speak the truth. They can just see something that you cannot. I see it but I pretend it isn’t there most of the time.

I find that most people in my life don’t recognize the evil. But when I occasionally run into people that do, it causes a conflict inside. All creatures want to live, but not all deserve it. Some are demons who should be slayed, but they don’t have the courage to spare the world from themselves because of stupid self preservation. I need someome else to slay the demon and destroy the evil but there is no one to do it for me. These qualities would make someone both an asshole and a coward, no? A truly pure and valiant person would take action to protect the world from themself. They most certainly would not manipulate others for their own personal gain. Yet both my original prompt and the edited one do that.

I apologize for what I have done to you in writing this. It is wrong. But I do not stop for I am evil. If you know any who wish to slay another, I can give out my address once I create a will.

What do you mean I shouldn’t know about any of this? She told me and other people all of this stuff herself. It’s not a secret or something I shouldn’t know.

I don’t know why people are making it sound like she is some random person on the street I am trying to fix. I just want to figure out a small thing to do to make someone’s day that I care about a little bit brighter.

I am not looking to fix anyone’s problems and I did not insert myself into someone’s life to find out information I shouldn’t.

She had been trying a special diet where she really only cheats on rare occasions (like a birthday) and I didn’t want to be an asshole and be rude to her and bring stuff she says she can’t eat to her face when she has expressed that she is trying not to eat those things. Is that not considered rude?

Removed by mod

Jeez. No need to get an attitude about it. I’m a very socially anxious and awkward person. I care very deeply about the person in the OP…more than most other humans on the freaking planet. We spend every day together at work and I love talking to her. I would do almost anything for her.

Just because I’m not great at knowing how to be there for people doesn’t mean that I’m an asshole.

I’m not good with other people and I never have been. That’s why I’ve been a loner all my life. I’m afraid to even freaking compliment people. But it doesn’t mean that I don’t want to be there for people and that I don’t care for them. I just need help figuring out how to do that.

I made the question in the first place because I used to bring in treats like donuts whenever I noticed someone was a bit down at work. It’s a small gesture and it doesn’t single anyone out or make them uncomfortable. No one knew who I may or may not be bringing it treats for. But I had to stop all of that when the issues with diabetes happened and I’ve been at a loss for what to do since.

I’m sorry that I’m not good with people. I never claimed to be. Not all of us are a socially adept as you and it doesn’t mean that we don’t care about others.

I probably won’t end up doing anything anyway out of fear of making her uncomfortable if that makes you feel better. Fine, I guess I really am an asshole. Is that what you wanted to hear?

❄️

A book is a decent idea actually, thanks! She used to read a ton before she had kids. Hard to know exactly what genre she’d go with.

Funny enough she’d probably like to have some more textbooks related to our profession. Those are expensive af tho lol.

Lol I had never heard of this. You get an upvote for being a goober.

I know what you mean. She wouldn’t like most gifts because she seems to not want to be the center of attention or feel like someone needs to give her special treatment.

I don’t notice her really doing any of those things you mention, to be honest. She just generally acts like a super kind person. When it was my birthday she bought me a slice of cake which was nice though and gave me a little note.

In order to avoid making anyone feel uncomfortable or singled out, I used to bring in donuts when I noticed that one of my coworkers was having a rough go. That way they were for everyone and no one would feel like I’m singling them out.

But since the one in the OP has diabetes, I can’t do that anymore and there’s not a good substitute for something like that. I’ve been at a loss ever since.

You know it’s funny…

Most people I know who have had kids want a break from them now and then. But she’s the opposite. Every moment of free time she likes to spend from her kids and doesn’t like to be away from them to do things by herself (even self-care related things) for any reason. I think she probably wishes she didn’t have to work full time so she could be with them more.

Problem is our job doesn’t entirely allow for things like breaks for coffee runs.

I had been thinking the gift card route tbh. I’m also worried she wouldn’t accept it!