Led me to this wonderful list

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_chemical_compounds_with_unusual_names

When I was about 4, I was jumping on the sofa, back and forth from one arm to the other (because the middle was lava, obviously)

Misjudged it and ended up going headfirst off the end into a china cabinet next to it, glass doors and all - I ended up missing the first month of school, 32 stitches and basically half a Glasgow smile to show for it, I’m told it looks very cool

“Clarence, I have a slight headache”

“Me too, Geoffrey”

Sometimes more than one 🤮

Turns out it’s a lot harder to do this with a whale

Why not Zoidberg?

(V)(,;,;,)(V)

Yeah it’s all wood - they’re attached to the top with dowels and glue

Looks like it yeah, found other seals in the sealbarrow on their Twitter

D’oh yeah should’ve put that in the post - walnut for most of it, sapele and ash for the accent strip

There’s a furniture makers a short drive away with a container full of their offcuts for cheap, spotted this guy right away 😁

When I started this company, I had only two things - a dream, and six million pounds

The orks are stupid, but also have psychic powers that mean if they believe something hard enough it just happens - eg they believe painting their ships red makes them go faster, so they do, and it works

Mountains? More like NOTHINGS

T̸͎͇̠̳͉͎̀̈́̀̽h̶̗̃̔́̈́̋i̴̳̖͖̗̬͙̣͇̊̀̎͂̈́̾̑̃͜͝ͅs̶̛͎͛̅̆̽́͊̎̈́̚ ̸̧̼͕̣͚̩͑̆o̵̞̥̺̳̼̅̓̈͆̕ṇ̵͚̳̓̇̆̆̊̄̚̚ȅ̴̳̰͖̜̝̪͔͈̑̀̀̅̒̄̔̚

There’s one missing hole, a tiny bit right of the centre of the image

In the UK you can’t even buy that many at once 😆 without a prescription at least - paracetamol and ibuprofen are usually 16 per pack and they don’t let you buy more than one of each

All hail the God Who Hates You Unconditionally 👌

Most of the major newspapers (this is from a UK perspective but I’d imagine they’re accessible in other places) have a live news page for big developing news stories - the BBC site is probably a good unbiased-ish one

They had to hire a vampire for this one