I had to change my diet to purely swallowing peanuts with water. Then, I slowly reintroduced my typical diet of McDonald’s double cheese burgers, vodka, and energy drinks. Once I had a population of squirrels that could tolerate my pure excrement, things really took off. They started getting larger and mutating. I had to stop before they started raping all the dogs in the neighborhood. I spent nearly 2 months holed up in my attic with a pallet of MREs, 4 dozen handles of vodka, and 15,000 rounds of M855.
But unemployment is at the lowest ever! We added 200.000 jobs. There was only a soft recession. Line goes up, and just in time for something important. What a coincidence. The economy is so great and we’re back in the bull market!