Group of enemies? Fireball
Single enemy? Fireball.
Wall? Fireball
Friendly NPC? You better believe it’s Fireball
Overcook / undercook.
Let’s be honest: mostly overcook. Because of Fireball.
Overcook
Well done
We have the best dungeons in the world. Because of fireball.
Even when facing fire elementals or dragons?
How many long rests are you taking every day?
Me and the boys deleting a monster:
D&D, where the only winning move is to not play at all.
“Crap. Did anybody slot Magic Missile? Anybody? Oh come on!”
I mean fireball doesn’t miss either
It can’t miss, but it can do half damage.
I’m playing a wizard in one of my current campaigns, and when we hit level 5 I started writing my PC’s will.
“What is my purpose?”
“You werf flammen.”
“Oh my god.”
You should be saving for a preemptive True Res. Only 10,000 gp
Wait, can you pay that in advance? Like a divine IOU? A signed card from your deity, reading “get out of death free?”
I expect an IOU costs more, and involves a bunch of priests coming to you to collect your corpse, take you to the chosen temple space, and rez you. Sort of like an NRMA membership meaning they are coming and getting you and your broken car to a mechanic.
Here’s an idea for a campaign; Our heros have been hired to go collect the remains of a hero who paid for this similar-to-NRMA service.
Saving Private Ryan 2: Whoops.
Yeah complete with "so that dragon this guy was intending to go slay? It not only took him out, now it is alert and pissed off. Good luck!
Cleaning up after a TPK sounds like a hilarious and tense way to dungeon-crawl. Following breadcumbs left by typical murderhobos: empty vials, lesser weapons, whatever’s left of some extremely deceased wildlife. Nothing left except whatever moved in when the apex predators were blasted to smithereens, and anything properly scary that the party sealed off, ran from, or somehow snuck past.
Then you finally reach several undignified stiffs - one doing the Final Fantasy face-plant, another in the Family Guy crumple, two feet sticking out under opposite sides of a giant boulder - and all of their high-level gear is strewn about, among the other treasures. You’re only required to grab a meaningful portion of each body, before rapidly de-assing the area. But there’s a lot of room in this wheelbarrow.
Lol.
Ran a similar campaign years ago of a for-profit ambulance service in Shadowrun. Difference there was they had to extract their paying customers before they died, yet didn’t know to do so until after they’d hit the panic button. Good times.
Whenever I have a problem, I chuck a fireball at it, and BOOM! I have a different problem.
We’ve a gnome wizard in our party who focuses on fire magic. Our last combat involved the DM rolling out small groups of minions each round. They were coming out of an airship and stayed grouped up. You bet your ass that gnome spent 3 turns in a row casting 3 fireballs.
Produce flame is one of my cantrips
Fire is funI miss Improved Evasion.
