It’s funny. I got a promotion a bit ago and I announced happily to my family that my career progression has ended for good.
I don’t want to grow in responsibility, in don’t want to work extra hours, I don’t want to study for work, I don’t want to “network”.
If yearly rises somewhat follow the cost of living (relatively common in my workplace), I don’t even want to job hop.
I want to cruise at work and live my life.
Some still don’t understand because “line go up” mentality.
“How dare you be satisfied with your lot and content with who you are???”
“There is so much to unpack and learn from an exchange like this.”
Yeah, no kidding.
Husband’s probably regretting some life decisions right about now, and I guarantee they’re not related to his not getting any awards or certifications.
That doesn’t read as much as blasting her husband as it does as blasting herself.
The lunacy part is posting this to LinkedIn rather than discussing in private with a therapist.
She’s sharing something she struggles with because she believes other women may struggle with it as well and knowing you’re not alone is help in and of itself. It isn’t even something that personal. The only lunacy I see here is all the comments that insist sharing your feelings is lunacy.
Nah, I mean, sharing this on LinkedIn is basically a “humble brag”, LinkedIn is all about marketing yourself as a professional brand. If she needed an outlet she’d discuss this with a friend, a coworker, or even an actual social media platform. It’s basically like “I can’t stop crushing goals, my husband is content just existing, is there something wrong with me? Why am I such a beast? Why is he content being lame? Anyone else feel this or am I in a minority of overachievers?”
Not even bringing up the fact that this is very publicly scrutinizing her husband, or at the least, airing out her laundry. I’d be furious if someone shared a private, intimate conversation just to make a point for social media validation. But then again, I’m a pretty private person.
I think if she was actually crushing her goals, she’d do so in silence. That’s what most overachievers actually do.
Nope. It’s doesn’t seem like that at all. Sounds like you’re unable to see other people’s perspectives, though.
LinkedIn is not a venue for discussion though. Only people born into extreme wealth have the privilege of saying anything other than “I love corporations 😍” on their LinkedIn profile.
It’s not meant to be a discussion. She’s just looking for peers that may feel the way she does because sometimes a “me too” is enough. I have no idea what the rest of your comment is trying to say.
This is LinkedInLunatics. I think she deserves to be Queen here.
regardless of sex, anyone making this claim is clearly broken inside. kinda sad.
Right? I feel like this is so obviously not about sex & my life is a clear example to that.
For context, I’m a trans woman who works in tech.
Five and a half years ago I was miserable as hell from relying on external validation. I’d never been happy with my birth sex, but I’d stuck it out for years, duct-taping my happiness together with academic or career achievements, working myself to the bone just to achieve some degree of stability at the cost of my mental health, relationships, happiness, sex life, etc.
For all intents and purposes, I was treated by society as male during that era of my life… albeit of the gay sort of feminine and very depressed variety. I also had a laundry list of accomplishments each year and could not fathom being happy with myself unless I collected them all like pokemon.
Sex changes are like the world’s most opposite thing to external validation. I went from being a white cis male to… well look at what society thinks of trans women. There have been many many times in the past half-decade in which I felt like I’d jumped off a cliff, that I might lose my career, that I’d struggle harder to get ahead, that I wouldn’t be taken seriously anymore.
And some of that was true—I definitely deal with misogyny and transphobia now in a way I never would’ve before. I do feel I have to perform 2x better than before in order to achieve the same sorts of recognition… and I have to now for some reason look good doing it (whereas before I could basically ignore my body, wallow in dysphoria/depression, and still be given credit).
But… what have I done career-wise during the past 5 years? I’ve flatlined. Honestly? I “met expectations” for a half-decade straight. No awards, no accolades, just “did that thing and went home.” I was too busy both emotionally and practically with a whole freaking sex change outside of work. And nobody has come to eat me, even though at this phase of my life most coworkers don’t even know I was once male. Heck, if anything, I look at a lot of my cis female peers and they’re having kids which (unfortunately/unfairly) amounts to practically the same thing.
Before my sex change this would have been unthinkable to me. My entire happiness and sense of identity was pinned to my career. And that was was literally THE duct tape on the joke that was my life. The thing I only way I could manage to keep myself male. Literally the biggest lesson career-wise that my sex change has taught me is that it’s okay to have eras in your life where your career just vibes for a bit while you short your shit out.
So… I just don’t think this is a male vs. female thing. It’s a running away from oneself and trying to cope with your misery via external validation thing. It IS true that when you’re read as female you DO have to push ahead. Chances are, similar to how I felt I had to alienate myself for my career in order to get to a place where I could afford a sex change, this woman felt she had to do the same in order to establish herself as a woman in tech. The barrier to entry is higher.
But once you’re there and established it’s like, girl you can chill now, it’s gonna be fine if you’re fine, maybe with a bit more stability and a bit less pay.
What I read: I require external validation instead of finding it from within.
Realistically all these achievements mean nothing when you die and are forgotten. It doesn’t necessarily invalidate the work and accomplishments but I’d argue it doesn’t give an individual the “higher ground” to belittle a partner on social media; they may not value it the same.
I require external validation instead of finding it from within.
I am not on LinkedIn, but from the outside this seems to be the trend there.
Where is the belittling?
Is this a rhetorical question? Or does this comes down to perspective? For the latter I would explain it as me seeing contempt from this person’s messaging around their partner seeming OK with not achieving things she defines as important. She then takes, what I would consider a personal conversation, to social media for what I can only assume is support from like-minded people to validate her.
TL;DR the premise itself is belittling
Is it? It seems more introspective than anything. She acknowledges her initial confusion at his contentment despite not achieving those things, then turns right around to ask why she herself has trouble finding contentment that way. She only really brings up the “belittling” comments to immediately subvert them.
Every thing she lists is fluff.
If you are an employed professional you are spending your year doing your job. Not going back to school to pick up a certificate for fun or finding a documentary to be in (what even is this?)
I imagine the husband biting through his cheek during this grilling thinking “yea I’m busy fucking doing things.”
If the husband even exists
If he does he might be wishing he didn’t.
Naw, you should see his post hawking relationship counseling
She lives to work
He works to live
Tune in for the next season of Never Happy
Or she grew up in a society where women have to overachieve in order to get the same recognition as men and now she struggles with a need for external validation like many other women.
This must be doubly as true for sectors like IT.
Could you go a year without a single new certification, interview, award, promotion, and be OK with yourself for it?
No but I have ADHD and collect knowledge like trading cards in an attempt to appease the screaming boredom. Wonder what got her all twisted up?
Probably needs a dicking down
She’s an LLM optimized for doing “career goals”.
Maybe that’s the unavoidable final state of our society. A million goalbots, dancing together, forever.
Psychopath behavior. This is who America rewards.
This is who America rewards.
No, we have a system that rewards this behavior and punishes any one who wants to be decent for being a “sucker”
They’re always Founder and CEO of a company of one person.
Who the fuck are they even trying to impress?
Other “grindset” dipshits who confuse overworking and meaningless awards/titles with a personality.
When did people start this whole CEO cosplay shit?
One day I woke up and everyone is now CEO girlboss power ranger who sleeps 2 hours per day while working 28 hours per day building greatness for the litttle people.
Could you go a year without a new certification, interview, award, or promotion and be OK with yourself for it?
Yes. Easily. My job isnt my whole life, as long as I feel good about the work I did over the year, I see no reason to change.
Would you think about a colleague, direct report, friend, or spouse differently for doing so?
No. Absolutely not. In fact, I’d be more worried that they’ll burn out if all they think about is this shit, and tell them to get a hobby that isn’t related to their job so that they can direct that energy somewhere other than getting pieces of paper that say “I can job good”
Yeah, especially the direct report thing.
