The only reason this counts as fiction is probably because noone asked him what he thinks.

Yup, I ate this onion. I hate reality.

We need to start calling it Maga America, in the same way we say Nazi Germany or Fascist Italy.

This feels like it could have actually been something he said. I feel like if you showed this article to his followers, without showing the site, they would nod their heads and agree that it’s sage wisdom.

How fucked up is this timeline?

I ate that onion so hard

Funny, the German equivalent to The Onion had the same idea today:

https://www.der-postillon.com/2025/02/ueberfall-auf-polen.html

I could 100% see him saying this

I’m having a hard time believing that this article is from The Onion.

World War 1 and the global rise of fascism started World War 2. A mentally ill man at the helm in Germany didn’t help. Granted, I don’t think our mentally ill (Cluster B personality disorder) man has ever cracked a history text. He probably doesn’t even know of the existence of the Treaty of Versailles.

That said, my armchair amateur read is this is all about the chips. Billionaire backing: for the chips. Elon space: for the chips. Canada and Greenland threats: for the chips, playing the odds re what’s under the ice. Ukraine slam: for the chips, and, sure, Daddy Putin.

Chips chips chips. The game moving forward is chips.

Now I’m craving Salt & Vinegar.

How about this for a deal? Countries keep their shit out of other countries where they’re not welcome?

i bit the onion, hard

that’s a good one ! Pétain would be proud

I understand the reference 🤣