Most people usually consider killing Hitler. But if you think about it, there are on average 80 to 30 million sperm in a typical ejaculation. So I’d find Hitler’s dad on the street, bump into him and jiggle his nuts a bit. Then I’d come back to see how much history I changed.
“So I’d find Hitler’s dad on the street, bump into him and jiggle his nuts a bit.”
Brand new sentence.
I would find that fish that developed lungs and kick its ass.
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Buy a ton of bitcoin
But how? You don’t have access to your current bank account, any cash you bring would likely get marked as fake because of the redesigns that happen.
It is fun to think about “if I go back in time I will buy as much X as possible.” But you don’t have any currency from that era.
2 chicks at the same time
Go back to 1966 and attend a Yardbirds concert with Jimmy Page AND Jeff Beck on the same stage in their primes.
Probably just see some historical events happen, like the signing of the Declaration of Independence, Apollo 11, etc. I wouldn’t really want to mess with anything to keep the “timeline” safe.
Put the idiot who started all this back on the tree.
Ship my ass far, far into the future to satisfy my biggest piece of curiosity, probably in 100 yr increments or something. Hopefully somewhere with really good line of sight over a wide area, so I can see some “civilization”. If it gets really nice, I’d stay. I can try to sell the machine if funds are necessary.
If it isn’t particularly nice at some point, there’s a nonzero chance I might die on one of my jumps. Avoiding that, I’d jump backwards again far enough to live out my natural life in the most advanced time I can.
Amusingly, despite being a bit of a history buff, I’d have very little interest in actually going back. Even to learn.
Become king of the neanderthals.
