The bad ending:
> learn not to talk about anime and gaming
> change hobbies instantly for a woman
> long-term relationship but miserablePros: Having sex.
Cons: Has to know the names of everybody on Love Island.
I feel personally attacked. Love Island is wonderful trash okay? 🤣
Any woman that wouldn’t be interested in anime and BG3 probably wouldn’t be lasting prospect for anon anyway and that’s OK. Find a partner that has similar interests to you (and hopefully isn’t too crazy) and you’ve got a decent chance for something that can last.
Sooo true! Every friend I have that has a partner/so has or is playing BG3 together. I love hearing them talk about their adventures and always giggle when they get to the romantic side of things - never any jealousy, just cheering each other on 🤭
They dont even have to have similar interests only one. Its more like anime and gaming is a veto for a lot of women and even men from my understanding. People think youre wierd if you do those. I know someone who looks like your typical gym bro so he gets a lot of attention from women but then they get turned off instantly becuase of his hobbies.
Can confirm. My wife is a gamer and we watch anime together. Life is great :)
I think it depends on how OP said it and what exactly they said. There’s a certain type of anime viewer that women (rightfully) are worried to be around. I’m sure this wasn’t the only thing that happened, but when they said anime it confirmed everything she was thinking.
This is why people fail at dating and relationships. They look at it like fishing- that your goal is to tempt a big fish into biting. That is wrong. Dating is a SEARCH. In your area there is somewhere between a few thousand and a million potential partners of your desired gender and age and other characteristics. You aren’t trying to persuade the first one you see to like you, you’re trying to find the one who already likes you but doesn’t know it yet because they haven’t met you. The person you are compatible with will like you for who you are. So when this girl rejects him because she doesn’t like anime, he should not take that as a personal failing. He should smile and say okay on to the next one.
And if you’re into stuff like anime put that shit in your profile. That will attract the right people and screen out the wrong ones. That’s not ‘making a bad impression’, the people for whom anime is a turn off are people who you wouldn’t want anyway if you are an anime fan.
In your area there is somewhere between a few thousand and a million potential partners of your desired gender and age and other characteristics.
reported for misinformation
All the adverts that I see on my sidebar tell me otherwise
lol true.
There are that many women, sure, but 80% are unavailable, then 10% of the rest are MAGA, and of the final amount maybe 1% are actually compatible.Plus they all have kids 😬
Yeah if Anon had asked first and she had replied “Taylor swift and watching reality TV” how would he have reacted?
“Taylor swift and watching reality TV” how would he have reacted?
Can’t speak for anon, but TS is more enjoyable than one would expect. I downloaded Eras for my wife, expecting it to be long and boring, and watched the whole damn thing and recommended it to my friends that would not have considered watching it.
Reality TV is fine, get a steam deck and game while they watch it. It’s so scripted you can stay caught up and gasp at the right moments without looking up.
Yeah i don’t know much about TS but as an extreme metal fan happily married to a K-pop & K-drama fan, I agree with your point. But again, there’s a lot of signal in those various situations.
The girl in the story has clearly signaled that pop-culture tastes are important for her in a potential partner, while you and I have clearly signaled that it isn’t. Both are very valid.
You’re missing the point.
It sounds like you took my post as ‘anime fans aren’t all losers’. I didn’t say that.I was trying to say that it’s okay she rejected him for that and he should be happy that he won’t waste any more dates on a person who considers his hobbies a turn-off.
I was actually agreeing with you. She rejected him for liking anime just like he may have rejected him for liking Taytay & reality TV. As you said, dating is not a speedrun to making some random person like you - it’s a search for someone you like and who likes you back. Personal interests and hobbies are a great proxy to finding that person. But of course you have to be in a good place mentally, and not ready to ditch your dignity for validation from a random person you might not even like if you were frank with yourself.
Atup. There’s a lotta guys who think dating apps are akin to ordering a woman online and then finessing the edges and they always get ragingly shitful when they find out women are actually people and don’t want that bullshit.
(This is outside of transactional hookups where people just wanna fuck)
It’s not necessarily an easy problem to solve. I think the woman should have given him a chance and generally everyone should avoid reacting so strongly to “dealbreakers” on a first date.
That being said, Anon can also consider not bringing up anime and video games right off the bat. It doesn’t mean you can never share this. It may be just fine given more context (you are moderate about it, still open to other things, etc.). We all make snap judgments that we regret later. It’s ok for you to help your dates avoid these (barring serious things like hiding if you have a kid).
I’m sorry, but dealbreakers are dealbreakers for a reason. And dealbreakers aren’t stuff that should be treated like it can be changed easily. Dealbreakers are things like political alignments, interest in having children, marriage and other stuff.
And asking women to give a guy they don’t like “just a chance” has not done anything ever for anyone, seriously. The amount of times I hear about women giving the “weird guy” a second chance has always ended in the guy either seriously overstepping boundaries or taking the later rejection even worse. I have yet to meet a “weird guy” who hasn’t done something seriously heinous later down the line.
And I am certain you didn’t mean it that way, but saying “It’s ok for you to help your dates avoid these” makes it sound like you’re advocating for invalidating womens opinions, as if they can’t make decisions for themselves and need help from a man to make the “right” one.
It sounds like you know what I was getting at. I recognize the danger women are up against and ultimately, even for trivial things, dating is a “free market” where everyone is allowed to ditch on a dime. I’ll defend that more strongly than my point above.
I do object to the accusation I’m advocating for men making decisions on behalf of women. I meant my comment to apply for any combination of sexes/genders.
The armchair theory I’m working from here is that the quantity of potential dates provided by online dating has changed the landscape in a way where people are less incentivized to give second chances. That helps some in some situations, hurts others in others. I just wanted to put a thought out there to not stray too far to one extreme of “anything that might correlate with them being a bad date is an immediate dealbreaker, because there are ten thousand other swipes waiting for me”.
Shouldn’t your dating profile already mention your interests to avoid this situation?
It probably would but this is completely fake so it didn’t
Damn for 4chan, can’t be bothered to properly flesh out their fantasies
Playing devil’s advocate here:
People also absolutely suck at reading profiles. They skim, see some things they like, and go for it. There’s a terrifying amount who don’t even read, just go based off pictures.
All true, but I stand by my assertion that this particular post is fake and/or gay
Sure, first interactions maybe. But not when they already spoke a bunch and went on a date.
Surely if you only look at the picture you’re only interested to fuck. Openly or deceptively.
Dating scene is terrible on a good day, and sometimes dates just don’t work out. You can’t base your worth on such things.
Also anon, she’s allowed to decide she’s not interested based on anything you did or did not say. That’s kind of how dating works.
Honestly I loved anime growing up but I went on a date with a guy in college who spent the entire date talking about anime in a manner that communicated his big tit fetish on the first date. Like. I would have loved talking about Inuyasha or fma among a few others I remembered really enjoying. But nope. Anime tiddies. So when I read this I’m like… Are you sure it was the anime dude or was it maybe actually something tangentially related to the anime?
Otoh if it really truly was the anime anon dodged a bullet anyway.
I literally had a birthday picnic last sat with a bunch of incredibly attractive and intelligent women who would not shut the fuck up about bg3. Dude lost nothing of value
I was at a house party a couple years ago and had like a 45 minute long conversation about attack on titan with a group of women who did not seem to fit into the anime demographic at all. I didn’t even initiate it. The whole time in my head I was like “wtf is happening right now.”
Would anon want to be with someone full-time that they had to keep silent about their harmless hobbies?
You could replace “keep silent about their harmless hobbies” with a great many other things, and people will say yes. The hobbies thing is relatively tame compared to a great deal of self-directed changes/decisions based on the partner.
Pro tip: if this is your date’s reaction to your honest self then it was never gonna work out. You’re better off ditching their dead weight and moving on.
Yup, better to dodge a bullet on the first date than to catch it when you’re emotionally invested.
It’s not just girls, some people just really don’t enjoy anime… me being one of them. I have tried and tried to like it to no avail.
So if a girl was really into anime, that would turn me off because I would assume I would have to at least listen to a lot of anime in my life.
There’s anime fans (“Hellsing is pretty good, Gundam’s pretty cool too”), and anime fans (“KONICHIWA SENPAII~~❤️UwU NANI!?!?”)
Lots, if not most, people who like anime are in the first camp (sub in anime that people watch these days - I am deeply out of touch and know it shows). Lots, if not most, people think of the second camp when they hear someone say “I like anime”.
Wouldn’t necessarily lead with it as a hobby in a dating scenario unless you’re talking TV and movies in general already. But that’s just me, and I haven’t had to think about dating strategy for a loooong time.
I had a first date yesterday and we spent the entire time talking about anime and videogames. Sounds like OP just had bad luck.
Non-joke response: be true to yourself. OP is fine for liking anime and video games, their date is fine for disliking the same. But don’t feel like either one should change or hide themself whether for a single date, or even their “one true soulmate”! Either scenario is not a lasting strategy. Find someone who likes you for you, even if it’s difficult and takes time…
if i were to guess, i’d say that for people it’s not a problem with those hobbies in particular, but rather with the fact that the question implies you to say the most exciting things you do in a free time, therefore if you answer “anime and playing games” they consider you boring and uninitiative.
If she doesn’t like those things she’s not worth bothering with. Keep looking.
Nah, it doesn’t matter if she likes those things or not. It’s about whether or not she supports you having hobbies/interests that she doesn’t share.
The trick to being into anime, gaming, and being able to date is to find partners who enjoy the same things.
Anon realizes that normie women typically suck.
