I do this a lot. I get excited about stuff and go on these exuberant tangents and people think I’m just talking down to them. Sometimes it causes people to ghost me and I’ve learned that’s okay, I don’t want to be around those people anyway
Sometimes it causes people to ghost me and I’ve learned that’s okay, I don’t want to be around those people anyway
I’m happy for you! 😀
I do this at the family dinner table
AND NOBODY TOLD ME?
right‽ just tell me! my self-worth isn’t based on someone else’s lack of interest in a topic.
Interrobang gang
sounds sexy 🤤
I specifically interrupted myself to ask if my monologue is too much!!
Eventually I just stopped talking to people.
This is what posting online is for.
What do you mean by that, my least favorite part of the Snickers bar?
I have an insanely large number of things to say. I like to think and come to conclusions, and then check my rationale by having a discussion with other people about it. Nobody wants to do this in person, also I am old and people get busy when they’re old.
A couple days ago, I wrote a “paper” titled “Donald Trump is Going to Prison,” in order to sort through all the things I know and craft them into a picture, so that I can make sense of current events. I updated it with some additional information last night, and I will probably continue to do so. Talking/writing out my ideas is how I am able to better understand the world, and I very much like to have those ideas challenged.
Online forums are a fantastic place to do that.
If you decided to do some sort of website or lemmy community for posting your ideas, I’d be interested in reading them even tho I don’t like nougat 😉
That would mean I would have to make a committment, and we all know that’s not going to happen.
But thank you. Seriously, not kidding. If you are actually interested in anything I think, you can find what I think in my comment history here.
Exactly! That, and I can tweak my writing to see if it conveys what I want. I cannot just hit ctrl+z when I’m talking.
Most times I feel I’m having these galaxy-brain thoughts but they come across as pea-brain sentences when trying to articulate them (how long is long enough for a rant/explanation?). Going meta has also not gone well for me. By that I mean discussing about how we’re discussing the topic at hand. It seems to be shrugged off as a tangent or distraction, when I believe it’s a good baseline for the current and future conversations I might have with the person.
Discourse online is better suited for the exchanges I like to have with others (such as the folks on this very thread), because arguments can be better fleshed out and people are less afraid to share their rationale. Ideas and perspectives can clash, but it’s not necessarily bad. Just like peer review in science papers.
Are we best friends now?
This leads me to believe I’m either autistic or an asshole
The good news is that you can be both! It just comes down to intent.
It’s actually somewhat hard to be both, but dude when it happens one thing really adds to the other so much!
Most of us are are constantly masking among neurotypical folks and one of the reasons we do it is to not be seen as an asshole. If you actually are an asshole then you can also be yourself much more easily, which in turn often make you be seen as an even bigger asshole by them.
If you are just trying to share knowledge then you aren’t an asshole. Those same people will do the same endless rambling about pointless sports statistics and how they made 3 touchdowns in high school or whatever thing they find interesting.
how they made 3 touchdowns in high school
I could throw a pig-skin a quarter-mile…
you might be being gaslit
Oh, I see you dealt with HR too
I used to call HR the KGB of my old job
At least half of those are part of daily autistic experience. Do you think we are constantly being gaslit?
You must accept both sides of your being, for to be an asshole to ignorance is one of the greatest joys an educated mind can experience.
See, look at that - @some_guy showed up to generate the second half of the equation. He hasn’t yet shown the capacity to form complete sentences, but he loves to follow me around downvoting after I told him his battle is with the troll within. Each time I see his downvote, it makes my day a little brighter knowing that no matter how hard he tries, he can’t answer the arguments I’ve posed him, but they’re still in his head, driving him to hunt me across the Fediverse, downvoting without commentary because he truly has nothing to say.
Simple pleasures.
what’s going on now?
When you downvote Arotrios he sends you nice messages like this
And plays the victim
Just a troll that’s been following me about - he popped up six minutes after I posted. He seems not to understand that we can see downvotes over here on kbin. It was hilarious that he showed up to prove my point.
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I reduced this post because it does not contribute to the discussion. If you believe you are being harassed, you should use the report button or block the user in question. You are probably just adding fuel to the fire by continuing to post paragraphs complaining about the user; if they are trolling you’re giving them exactly what they want by letting them live rent-free in your head.
No worries - not a problem. I have performed all the steps you suggest, but the Fediverse tools are still a bit lacking for cross-instance harassment, and this particular chucklefuck has been sending IMs threatening doxxing (which come through despite blocks). Just pointed it out here as it proved my point and made me laugh.
Besides, I’m living rent free in his head now… ;)
Peace be with you.
Why not both?
Both are a spectrum that everyone is on, and pretty much no one is all the way at the “not at all” side of either lol
That’s not how the autism spectrum works. For one what you’re describing is a gradient not a spectrum and for two the autism spectrum is a spectrum of autism, not a spectrum of everything. To be on the spectrum you have to be autistic.
Autism or any behavioural disorder isn’t a neatly packaged thing. We can’t measure it or study it under a microscope. The typical autistic behaviour exists in everyone to a greater or lesser degree. It’s hilarious to me how people worry about things like AI making decisions and we cannot determine the origin of the decision, as if a sophisticated neural network can be examined like clockwork. The human mind is nondeterministic and may always be.
Willingness to info dump works wonders in a casual retail sales environment. Customers come up with what they think are silly questions, and I’ll just give them as complete an answer as I can, engaging fully. Vast majority of them are greatly appreciative of it.
A few even come into my store specifically to find and ask me stuff.
That’s because you’re performing a valuable service and we salute you for it.
Hey, you wanna learn about ancient Mediterranean religions? Did you know Yahweh is a divorced dad?
Sources:
Crecganford - Asherah, Wife of God
go on…
Please see edit.
Source? I knew he was a philandering asshole, but I didn’t know he was divorced before he met Mom.
Shit, maybe he wasn’t… now I need a damn drink. Anyone got a spare water bottle?
Both of you, hurry up and provide me with more information now that I am interested and therefore invested
My guess is the fact that his son had to go through a whole lot of shit to be able to live with him after growing up with his stepdad.
Still pretty tenuous. It takes a lot of liberties with the source materials to arrive at that destination
Please see edit
Please see edit
Religion For Breakfast and Esoterica on YouTube. There are a number of videos on Asherah stones found in pre-Israelite temples next to the Yahweh stones…
I do want to know this!! Is the divorce an interpretation of the decline of Asherah worship?
Ding ding ding you win!
See edit in original comment for sources
That’s the sort of knowledge I have no interest in retaining long-time, but am always curious to read up on for hours and hours.
Most people at my workplace actually appreciate the my thorough explanations. I did have an issue crop up with one of the juniors on my team though. He talked to my boss about it who then talked to me without naming me, but I explained the situation to my boss who presumably relayed it to the junior, and I eventually figured out it was him and was able to adjust accordingly.
The issue was that since I really was more technical advanced than him, thus my higher role, my tendency to explain issues so thoroughly including context he saw as obvious was leading him to believe I was intentionally patronizing him and mocking his inexperience.
At this stage I think it’s smoothed over, simply with us settling on a mutual understanding. I take extra care to minimise info dumping and he keeps in mind that I’m not intentionally trying to insult his intelligence when I inevitably fail.
I’m happy y’all were able to work it out in a respectful and professional manner
Yeah I’m very lucky I have a job where my role is to share information related to my area of expertise.
Doesn’t help me outside of work though…
This kind of thing is why I rarely offer any advice or correction at work anymore unless it’s a safety issue. If you stop someone from doing something dumb and wasteful before it happens, you’re the asshole. Once they’ve screwed up all on their own, they’re much more receptive to some patiently explained lesson based in experience, as long as you’re kind and delicate. It can be hard to step back and not get immediately involved, especially when I know I’m going to have to deal with the fallout. I’m happy to drop everything and help anyone that asks, but they always get the introductory “Forgive me if I (because I probably will) tell you something obvious that you already know.” Now I’m not the know-it-all asshole people are afraid to cross, I’m the laid back know-it-all that gets excited when people come to me with questions.
It is a constant struggle though.
It also involves waiting and really listening when people talk tangentially about something you have some weird interest in. The whole “me too! Let me add…” attitude is more often seen as mansplaining or one-upsmanship than sharing excitement. People don’t usually that care what things you know unless they explicitly ask.
That’s actually a really good tip! I still get criticised all the time for apparently trying to one-up everyone else and hog all the attention, and I’ve never been able to figure out how to prevent it. Maybe I need to point more focus into how I’m expressing a shared interest in something, because I definitely go to a “me too! Let me add…” approach by default.
I think this is just people being different and having different expectations of what an exchange should be like. I find myself in this situation pretty often
Very relatable
Is this a symptom of autism? I do this a lot without knowing.
Not technically, but it could be a pattern that is indicative of autism. If you’re interested in assessing yourself, here are a bunch of online tests that could give more clarity. However, no online test is sufficiently valid enough to diagnose autism. You need a thorough assessment by an autism specialist that uses a standardized scale such as the Autism Diagnostic Observation Scale-2 (ADOS-2) which takes hours and maybe even multiple visits.
This is my result what do you think
I don’t know enough about that test to judge your results, but it looks like you’re kind of even. It might be helpful to talk to a professional in autism.
Here are my results on the Aspie Quiz:
Self diagnosis is valid as well as long as you don’t need accommodations at work/school.
Yeah, but you could be wrong and point yourself in the wrong direction.
I usually assume that people who self diagnose are looking for things to help them feel better. If strategies don’t work they try different ones. I don’t see much harm in that.
Also there are still a lot of people (especially minorities) who won’t get diagnosed or can’t afford it. So what else are they supposed to do?
So what else are they supposed to do?
if they don’t have access to professional care, that sounds like the best they can do
No, that’s just because you’re horrible person, Kevin!
I call it geeking out when I do it. Usually a detail I think is amazing requires too much context to understand which I figure out only when I’m explaining the background and people’s eyes glaze over. Then I make jokes that no-one gets like having Superstring Torpedoes in my Star Trek expy card game.
Is there anyone here who is a woman who has experienced this?
Unsure if I count, non binary but biological women and I have had this terribly bad for all my life
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Because I’ve noticed, between my husband and I who both have shown symptoms of ADHD, that I’m better able to modulate my tone of voice and have better interpersonal interactions at work, and he has had similar issues to another commenter when speaking to people at work- because he’s technically correct, he doesn’t get in trouble, but he still stirs the pot in ways that make people less willing to work with him because of the tone of condescension he takes on, without him seeming to realize it. My theory is that this is a learned/untrained behavior and is something many women are typically forced to learn to adapt and fix early on.
I’ve been trying to relate to a group I’m in and lately it feels like everything I say falls on deaf ears. Or is outright ignored which is the more common outcome. I received some ‘feedback’ and since then it has felt bad. I can’t relate to them in any way so my attempts to bridge that some and seeing them ignored feels extra bad.
If this is a group you don’t have to socialize with, maybe consider not belonging to the group anymore. I’m concerned that you will change yourself too much to meet their expectations. If you have to socialize with them, then remember to hold your boundaries!
Oh for sure. I left on Friday because I was tired of feeling like they didn’t want me there. Then today found out one of the people stabbed me in the back after leaving the group and it cost me a faux job of sorts. Just funny because whenever I let people into my circle they fuck me over as soon as it’s convenient to them.
Sorry for slow reply. Lemmy wasn’t putting up the notification until today.
that sucks 😞
Yeah it does. I busted my ass for a month and all it took was one ‘friend’ doing what I always know will happen. Such is life. Now I need to find something to lose myself in.
That’s because you are not the problem, they are, because thet have no business getting angry or feeling inferior by unassuming individuals in the first place. The fact that they associate being corrected with malice is a moral failing on their part, not on yours for not catering to their feelings. They absolutely would not cater to yours if they were hurting you; instead they’d chastise you for allowing yourself to be affected by others. So do the same to them.
I love autistic counterculture ❤️ ✊
As they would say, fuck their feelings
I’m in this picture and I don’t like it
