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Yeah, I recently got meds at 33 (hooray!), insane improvement, and morning brain is still like “But do you really have the severe ADHD you definitely have, or is it all just a big fucking lie you made up to excuse your weaknesses, you weak bitch? Maybe you just need 6-28 cups of coffee and 12 hours of guilty scrolling to low-volume TV to start your day, hmmmm?”
Then I finally take my damn pill, everything shuts the hell up, and I realize how completely chill I am, and capable of laundry.
Think I’ll print this out to go on the fridge, (with a calendar event set every few weeks to move its placement, before object permanence turns it to invisible scenery).
This gives me so much hope. I spoke with a clinician a week ago and she said at the end of the meetings I’m 100% inattentive type. Then two days later the clinic discharged me with no listed reason. I have to wait “5 to 7 business days” so I can release the medical forms to myself because the paperwork around HIPAA couldn’t possibly be more obtuse. I just want to function man
Oh my goodness with the doubts. You nailed it.
I’ve been like this my whole life but sometimes I wonder if I’ve just been affected by all the short term empty dopamine we’re surrounded with or if I really have this thing that completely matches up with the symptoms and the remedies actually fix.
Maybe it’s the stigma when I have to admit I need to take my Adderall and have my 2x/daily coffee to function reasonably well. ._.
Im still trying to get meds. That sense of calm… Im fairly sure I’d cry first taking it
Whatever hurdles you still have, dear Stamets, I hope you’re able to keep working towards getting meds. Some fiction-worthy circumstances made my own undertaking SUCK, and it took other extreme health trials for me to even tackle the whole process properly in the first place, cause all that stuff made me a pro with “just one more day of this shit, and I can die tomorrow, right?”, but so far it’s been utterly worthwhile. We can all cry, together!
I’d cry first taking it
I know I did! The good thing was that it completely subsided my severe anxiety and I’ve been off meds ever since after they did their job.
I’m 40 and hoping to start soon. Saw a psychiatrist last week for the first time and he wants to try me on stimulant medications but I needed to talk to my primary care doctor first because my heart rate has been high. She put me on a beta blocker for the tachycardia and I’m hoping to start soon. I forgot to actually ask the psychiatrist if he thinks I have ADHD but I’m assuming that’s a yes if he wants to try me on meds.
Nice! I was in a similar place with having to juggle other conditions and medication changes to be able to take stimulants, which exacerbated the hell out of everything, but damned if it didn’t need to be done for my health, anyway, haha. I hope the beta blockers help!
I describe it as going from “neutral gear” to “superman gear” but it may just be “functioning human gear,” I just know that once I actually start doing something, with or without my meds, I will super focus to the point that Amish work crews were asking if I needed a break. Getting started without meds is damn near impossible.
Fucking sucks that I doubt everything that I know how to do, no matter how much I do it, and when I actually do it, I just beat myself up more because I did a good job, so I shouldn’t have wasted time second guessing myself. Even with the meds.
I’m not saying this to be hurtful or accusatory, but do you actually doubt your diagnosis? I was diagnosed at a very young age and the more I’ve grown, the more incredibly obvious my issues have become to me. I can’t imagine, even subconsciously, thinking I didn’t have have ADHD because the symptoms are so apparent and match every description I’ve ever heard of the disorder.
Does your experience differ?
Going through your life well into adulthood while being told “Oh, that’s normal. Everyone does that.” can make it a bit different. People in this situation may also learn to try to compensate for it, but it can sometimes only do so much; until they hit a brick wall and can’t further progress with their lives.
The constant questioning to yourself of do you actually have the disorder, maybe you just need even more sleep, or maybe your mind is just making it up can plague adults who’ve dealt with it unmitigated their whole lives. The feeling does fade, but it can take time.
I imagine the culture which a lot of millennials also grew up in, with D.A.R.E. and the rebounding effect of the war on drugs could also play a subconscious factor of thinking “meth” is bad and only done by meth-heads and crazy people.
Cons: The side effects. It wasn’t always this bad, but they increase my tendency to clench my teeth, which can lead to enough pain by early afternoon that I can no longer focus on anything but the pain. I’m on a relatively low dose (10mg XR), and didn’t notice any benefit when I tried a non-stimulant medication.
Edit: I just need to shout into the void about this for a moment. No Adderall for at least 5 days, and no coffee/soda/energy drinks for even longer. It’s the weekend and I’m just vegging, so not a whole lot to be stressing about, but for some fucking reason I’m clenching and my jaw fucking hurts. 😬
I do this without meds and i somehow managed to automatically put my tounge between my teeth. So i don’t damage my teeth and my brain won’t allow me to bit down hard
I do often put my tongue between my teeth in an attempt to recduce damage to my teeth, but I still bite my tongue, which I think still makes the muscle tension worse. My current approach is to open my jaw as wide as possible and hold it for like 30 seconds to stretch the muscles. It seems to kinda help, but depending on where I am, it can be kinda awkward.
Con: I will forget to eat all day and become even more underweight
You need meds for that? I’ll forget to eat all day without them. With them, I just have to remember that my stomach grumbling is something I am supposed to pay attention to.
Lucky. I just get ill and don’t lose weight.
Cons: I’m not sure if I already took them and that’s a lot of stimulants if I accidentally take two.
Yes, I have a daily pill case. Yes, it helps unless I forget and miss a day and now it’s off by one.
If you miss a day, skip it. On Thursday you should always take Thursday’s pills. If still having a pill in the Wednesday slot bugs you then you should pop it back in the bottle.
My partner has a complex medication schedule and, believe me, this is the only way to make it work.
Joke’s on you, I’m a no-pill-left-behind kinda guy! *pops in 4 in a row that were accidentally forgotten*
No but where the fuck do you actually go to get meds…
You house doctor? A therapist?
I can never find a clear answer when googling.
(Btw i live in Germany if that matters)
So in Germany, only medical doctors are allowed to prescribe medicine, and therapists are not doctors, but psychologists. Medicine against psychological issues are prescribed by psychiatrists (Psychiater), who are doctors focused on psychology. As far as I know, you are usually referred to a psychiatrist by a therapist, but I’m not sure on that point.
I’m still just struggling to see a doctor about getting meds in the first place after being diagnosed but only prescribed Prozac for depression (which is directly caused by the inability to function well because of ADHD). The best rated care providers that take my insurance still suck and give me the runaround all the time, scheduling me 6 months away, and then having to reschedule another 6 months when I come in for the previously scheduled appointment because the doctor isn’t in.
Con: cost of meds
Con: I’m on Bupropion and scared i’ll develop a tolerance for it too early.
Amphetamines are illegal in my lovely country.
Cons: Trying to get your health insurance to cover the cost of it even though you very much need it to function.
Pharmacy Benefit Managers are awful companies. They say that their job “reduces costs to the consumer” but that’s a blatant lie.
How am I supposed to remember if I have to take more than one pill a day? lol my doctor won’t prescribe XR so it wears off early and I have to take more. But mostly I forget to take the 2nd one then crash way way too early. 🙃
Set an alarm on your phone? Why won’t your doctor prescribe xr though?
I’m using “did I take my meds” from F-Droid. It’s not for everyone, but I love that it’s privacy focused and FOSS. It can also track when you’re getting low and need to reorder.
